Page 108 of Cursed
Still standing in the magnificent atrium, I vanquished my armor.
My shoulders relaxed, and I focused on breathing, moving my gaze to Adam with his sad eyes and even sadder demeanor.
I’m finished with this cat-and-mouse game of being Hell’s pawn. It doesn’t matter who my father is because they both failed miserably. The only thing I care about now is Phoebe.
I closed my eyes. Hoarsely, forcing the words through my lips, I whispered, “I forgive you, Father.”
“Thank you,” he choked out, but I didn’t open my eyelids.
A feeling of lightness tugged within, and for the first time in untold ages, I let go of the angry hate always feeding the inner darkness in my soul.
The smell of citrus and fresh rain cut through the air, dragging me from my inner reflection. Warmth tingled over my flesh and a laugh as light as the tinkling of bells, lingered in the air.
I opened my eyes and tensed my muscles, readying the ether to summon my weapon.If foes made it through Samael, then I’ll never make it back in time.
Before me, on the bench next to my father, sat a tiny, plain woman. She held a small hand over her chest as she looked my way.
I tilted my head and met her stare head on.
Her lips crooked into a smile. It was hard to say how old she was. One moment, she seemed to sport the plump, smooth skin of a twenty-year-old, but then the next second her cheeks shifted into sharper, more angular formations common to middle age.
Long, white hair cascaded across her shoulders, contrasting with her skin. Her eyes twinkled, turning the deep, dark brown to golden amber.
Adam turned toward her and bent his head in deference.
She patted him on the thigh then rose with unnatural grace, the loose, simple white gown she wore pooling at her feet, making her appear as if she floated above the floor.
“Cain, long have I watched you from afar.” The tips of her bare toes flashed with each step as she paced closer. “I try to never interfere with my children’s choices, but there were moments I wanted to reach out, take you in my arms and assure you through all your trials, all your terrible decisions, you were never alone.”
“Who are you?” I tried to swallow, but my mouth suddenly became a desert full of scratchy sand.
“You know who I am.” She lifted an eyebrow. “You’ve always known, even when you tried to tune me out.”
“But I thought God was male, like Lucian...”
“Lucian and I come from the same plane of existence, but that’s where most of our similarities end. If we ever see eye-to-eye, the entire universe will collapse.” Her focus wandered upward to the dome. “And even so, there are times when I yearn to recapture what we once had.”
Wonder warred with revulsion. The Bible saidGodcreated Lucifer, but seeing the regret and obvious love shining from her eyes, I knew it was yet another story man had completely skewed.
Had Lucian and God been lovers in some unfathomable world?
She flashed an amused grin and gave a small nod. “We were even more than that, if you can believe it.”
Realizing I gaped, I snapped my jaw closed.
“So many assume I’m male, though I suppose I can be whatever I want.” She laughed, revealing small, white teeth, then clapped her hands together. “It gives me great delight the first time I meet a new soul, to see the confusion in their mind.”
God stood a foot from me and tilted her head, a line creasing her forehead.
Where Lucian would’ve demanded my submission and fear, I only felt the tingle of warmth and comfort under Her gaze, like coming home to a warm hearth after being out in the worst snowstorm of the century.
This is how it would feel working for the light.
How I wished I could redo all the choices I’d made in my past, all the innocent lives I’d snuffed out, all the hate I’d spread. Tears swam in my eyes and I dropped to my knees. Like my father, I suddenly craved forgiveness.
But I’m irredeemable. My sins will haunt me forever. I don’t deserve to be cleansed or loved.
God reached out a finger and stroked my cheek. “No one is irredeemable if they truly repent.”
