Page 120 of Cursed
The warmth of the glow suffused me, and I shut my eyes, at peace knowing Phoebe’s father would take her home.
I let go of the hate, the anger, and even my love and for a moment, seemed to float in a void of nothing.This doesn’t feel like dying, at least, not what I felt in the past, when Lucian punished me only to bring me back.
That sweet, fresh scent, so similar to Phoebe’s smell, wafted into my nostrils.
With a start, I opened my eyes.
Figures surrounded me as I lay on a soft bed. Bright light suffused everything, blotting out their features. Air, cold and crisp, caused goose bumps to prick my skin.
“Where...” I lifted a hand to shield my eyes. “Where am I?”
One of the figures leaned down. Toffee-colored eyes met mine.
I know him.
“Hello, Brother.” Abel gave me a shy smile and clasped my hand, pulling me to a sitting position. “I’ve missed you.”
Stunned into silence, I could only stare at him. The last time he and I had spoken had been right before our big fight, right before the fight which had taken his life and cursed me for eternity.
All these years, I’d been furious with him, furious with myself, furious with my father, yet even through all the rage, I’d missed him terribly, even though I kept the emotion buried deep.
“I missed your earlier visit. Father said you had wings.” He jutted his chin toward my back. “I thought he’d spent so much time on this plane he’d finally lost his mind.”
“Abel?” My hand still clasped his, and I gripped it even harder. “Am I dead, or am I dreaming?”
“Well, technically your body’s still in Hell, so yeah, I guess you’re dead, but your soul’s safe up here.” He sat on the edge of the bed, pulling his hand from mine. “Listen, I’m sorry, so sorry.” Pain flashed in his eyes. “I should’ve never treated you as I did, and I shouldn’t have let my anger and jealousy get the best of me. It’s my fault you were exiled.”
I swallowed a lump of pain, trying to wrap my brain around seeing my brother again. Alive. And smiling. Throughout our teenage years, he’d been sullen and vengeful.
“Cain,” a soft voice whispered, dragging my attention to the silhouette standing behind Abel’s shoulder. “I am sorry, too.”
My mother, just as beautiful today as the day I’d last seen her, gave a tremulous smile.
“Mother?” I felt dizzy, confused. Even though my soul now resided in Heaven, I still had a corporeal body. The human mind—at least the half human part of mine—couldn’t cope without something tangible to anchor it, so most people manifested themselves as they appeared on Earth.
Seems I’m not immune from that human flaw, either.Instead of being disgusted from the part of me I’d always hated, I embraced it, no longer ashamed of what I was...or what I’d been before my transformation to an angel.
A small pang of loss settled in the pit of my stomach.Why am I feeling nostalgic about something I never wanted in the first place?At least I could choose my form.
In Hell, when a soul belonged to Lucian, one’s body took on the ugly deeds and horrible sins committed in life. The Bible told truth when it spoke of twisted souls and unending agony. By looking at a captured soul in Hell, a direct picture could be drawn of a past life.
Lucian...my father—damn, it still feels weird knowing I’m the son of Satan—ensured punishments always fit the crimes.
My mother’s soft voice broke my inner musings. “Can you forgive me? I should’ve spoken out. I should’ve pleaded with your father to calm down and listen to what happened.” She stepped around Abel. With shaking fingers, she reached out and stroked my forehead.
“It’s okay.” My chest constricted. If I concentrated, I could still hear her anguished wails as she knelt over Abel’s lifeless form, his blood soaking the dirt. “You’d just lost a son. I never blamed you, Mother. I think you were as much of a victim as me, maybe more so.”
“I lost both of my boys that horrible day.” Gently, she curved her fingers around my skull, as she once did when I was a child when inspecting my face for dirt. “We have remained here, choosing to linger before allowing our souls to be reborn.”
Her words sharpened my focus. “What? But that means you’ve been waiting for...” I turned my attention to Abel, who nodded solemnly.
He gave my shoulder a light punch. “A hundred thousand years is a long time, even in Heaven. Do you know how boring this place is?” A forced chuckle left his lips, then his brown gaze met mine. “C-can you ever forgive me, too? I was horrible to you.”
Abel and Mother had suffered in their own way because of me. A penance for her inaction and his petty envy. Perhaps it hadn’t been true suffering, but still. They’d given up opportunities to be reborn into the world, to experience the wonders of Earth and try to make better decisions with each rebirth.
“We were boys, Abel. Big stupid boys who thought we were invincible. I know you lived in my shadow, and I can’t blame you for hating me, especially after finding out who I truly was. I—”
“You are my brother. Having a different father will never change the fact. When Father slipped a few days before our fight and mentioned you were only my half-brother, it triggered something wretched and ugly inside my heart. I was a hedonistic, jealous little shit whose tantrum got himself killed. You tried to save me.” His eyes pleaded with me for understanding, for atonement. “And instead of being recognized, you paid for my stupidity with your existence. I can never truly express my sorrow.”
