Page 32 of Behind the Lyrics
Maybe this album and tour wasn’t so much a comeback, but a redemption, as we’d discussed that night in my room.
I leaned into the plush leather and chewed on the inside of my cheek.I fancy the sound of that—redemption.
Justin tramped in. “Hey, mate.” He smacked me on the shoulder. “Why so glum? Missing your hot piece from the other night?”
“No.” My response was quick and agitated. “Just ready to get back home and work, that’s all.”
He slid into the chair in front of me, across the table. “Sure.” A grin tipped a corner of his mouth, and his green eyes sparkled. “I believe you one hundred percent.” He snickered.
Ignoring him, I grabbed my mobile to switch it off. A message popped up.
Fumbling with the passcode, I unlocked the screen and loaded the messages. The text was from Angela. My breaths came rapidly, and adrenaline coursed through my veins.Is she okay, or is she letting me know it’s over before even giving us a shot?
Angel:Hi. Hope this isn’t a bad time.
Me:It’s never a bad time when it’s you.
There, that didn’t sound too desperate, did it?
Angel:I just…
Angel:I just wanted to let you know I’ve missed you, too. I still need time, but I don’t want to lose contact, if that’s okay. Maybe we can be friends first and see where it goes?
The motherfuckingfriendspiel. Adrenaline turned to ice in my veins. I didn’t want to be her fuckingfriend.I wanted to be her lover, her universe, her goddamn everything.
I typed that into the messenger app. My finger hovered over the Send button. If she received it, though, would it put her over the edge to fly away and never return?
What the hell happened to my balls?I sounded like a mopey, emotionally wrecked sap. Might as well have cut them off, wrapped as a gift, and then placed the package into her soft little hands.
Sighing, I backspaced the entire message. Why was it so easy for me to write my feelings in a song, yet impossible in a text?
Angel:You still there?
Me:I’m here. I don’t know if I can do friends.
I gripped the phone and closed my eyes, willing my irritation to not take over. Icoulddo friends, but not forever. She felt the same thing for me, I knew she did, yet I had to make the decision to give her what she wanted.
Waxing my dick wouldn’t have hurt as much as what I knew I needed to say. Not that I’d ever tried it before, the waxing.
Me:We’re about to take off, so I’ll be out of touch until I land. Take the time, Angel, but know this: I don’t give up anything without a fight, whether it be addictions, guilt, or the people I care about. So, when I get back to the States, you and I are going to have a little chit-chat about exactly what we want and expect from each other, and I don’t mean with our “friendship.”
There. I said it without having to come right out and say it.
Angel:Now you just sound like an arrogant, Angry God…
Me:Four weeks until I return, Love. Then it’s just you and me. XX
Angel:Goodbye, Viktor.
Me:Goodbye for now, Angel. See you soon.
Chapter 29
Angela Morales
One week left until Viktor comes back to the States for the last half of his tour.I’d been trying not to count down the days, but it was hard. He never texted me first, which annoyed and delighted me at the same time. I mean, by not contacting me, he didn’t push, which gave me time to sort out my feelings, yet it irritated me, too.
It never failed—I’d break down and text him. Yesterday, I almost called before I came to my senses. I don’t know how it happened, but he’d slid under my skin and slipped into my heart, and it scared the hell out of me. I was afraid to love someone like him, someone who could so easily fall back into his old life of drugs and alcohol. If that happened, it would break my heart and tear me in two. I didn’t know if I could survive that kind of hurt again.
