Page 54 of Fallen
Jason'sfuneral,officiatedbyFather Martin yesterday, had been a small, sad affair.
Or so Sister Carrie had relayed earlier today. Without much emotion, I'd relayed everything that had happened to us that day, including the return of my vision and then the disaster at the spa, leaving out Lucian's visit that morning.
She must've sensed my despair. "I still think you should've went. Ryan will come around. You didn't have anything to do with the freak accident. At least come visit the church, open your heart for healing."
Since I couldn't tell her the truth, I didn't argue. As much as I'd wanted to go to the funeral, I didn't deserve to say goodbye to my friend—not when I might've been the root cause of his death.
Plus, there was the chance Ryan might have been there.
Instead of visiting the sanctuary as Sister Carrie had suggested, I decided I'd rather visit the library, so I made my way through the few blocks to the only other home I could remember.
Yesterday, Ryan had sent a campus friend to collect his and Jason's personal things from the house. I'd shut myself in my room and lain in the dark for several hours afterwards.
Sister Carried greeted me, fawning and praising God for the return of my eyesight, but I couldn't bring myself to be excited about my new-found vision. Finally, she gave up. "Go sit. I'll bring something to cheer you up." She'd pointed to my old table in the back then brought one of my favorite Braille books: Tolkien'sThe Fellowship of the Ring.
The thought of falling back into my world of night comforted my mind and I smiled. Keeping my eyes closed, I skimmed my finger over the dots and re-lived the story. Musty paper and aged bindings tickled my nose and made my heart lighter.
"Child, what are you still doing here?" she asked in her soft, kind voice, jolting me out of my trance. The early afternoon sunlight dappling the glass-stained windows had darkened to evening.
"I just…I just needed a place to think. This has been one of the worst weeks of my life."
"Anna." She leaned over the table and snapped her fingers under my nose. "This is a time to rejoice, you know."
I shrugged, then glanced at the words on the page. Reading with my eyes was a completely new experience.
Where once I'dseenthe words with my fingers, I now had to relearn how to read them like most people.
"What is there to rejoice about? Jason's dead and Ryan will never speak again."
Shoving the book away, I rubbed my temples to relieve the ache pounding in time with my pulse.
I should've just stayed in my bedroom under the covers and never came out.Maybe fade away to nothing and no one, like I'd always been.
Bam!
I jumped at the noise and rattle of the table. My mouth hung open as I stared at the sister still looming over me.
Her eyes were bright and clar, and she was as pretty as I'd imagined. Her knowing gaze pierced me. "You listen here." She smacked the tabletop, creating another boom.
Several students glanced our way, then bent their heads back to their studies.
"Yes, your friend died and the other was hurt, but you know what? Earlier that same day, you miraculously gained your sight."
"Who cares?"She wouldn't think it was a miracle if she knew who restored it…
"Godcares. And here you are, shunning and wasting His precious miracle. You should be ashamed."
Sister Carrie had been the nicest of the sisters as I'd grown, so hearing her harsh words and experiencing her brusque demeanor were an abrasive shock.
She pointed at a stained-glass window. "The world is hard—I don't need to tellyouthat. But you have the chance to turn tragedy into triumph. Remember how you always dreamed of being able to see and holding your own art show?"
One of the many traits I'd adored was her uncanny ability to remember anything I'd ever said. From my dreams of painting to college, she'd helped me make them a reality despite the odds. Besides Lucian, she had always been the only person who believed in me.
"I'm not sure I can now."
"Nonsense. I've never seen a more strong-willed person than you." She pushed a wayward strand of hair under her white coif. "And though you try to resist the truth, you have been touched by God. It is a wonderful blessing."
My blessing stemmed from the devil, not God.More like a curse.Lucian’s absence and refusal to hear me was a hidden gift, though. I couldn't seriously believe he could ever care for me. And he certainly couldn't love me—that would go against his very nature. I'd been a young, naive child when I'd called on him.
