Page 113 of The Billionaires' Gamble
So I crack a joke.
“Look at me maturing.”
He takes his first sip from his beer bottle, then lets it dangle from his fingertips. Staring at me for a full second, he says, “I’m looking.”
Those two words hit me right in the stomach, knocking the air from my lungs and sending a spiral of lust through me.
But that’s not how he meant them.
So I take a deep breath and stifle my physical reaction. “I have a few grays now. I found them the other day.”
“You know I’m not talking about gray hair.” He cocks his head at me in that ‘you’re full of it’ expression he’s mastered.
“I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about, Alex. You’re looking? At or for what? Signs of a heart attack?”
Which is a lie. I do have an idea. And now I’m not vibrating because of nerves, I’m shaking from abject fear. I’m terrified that he’s seeing the thing I don’t want him to see.
I make a show of looking at the time, then push to my feet. “I should get back to the office. Board meeting tomorrow.”
Alex makes a soft grunting sound and plops his bottle on the coffee table. “That’s it?”
I turn back. “What?”
He doesn’t look at me, just stares at the bottle, those wide shoulders tense.
I feel like a bunny in a trap.
“A moment of honesty between us, and you’re going to run off?”
He shoves to his feet, spine straight. I look up at him, search his face. But as usual, he’s unreadable.
I take a long, slow breath and count to five. Just like earlier in Doctor Morales’s office, I have to fight the urge to deflect.
“Okay. Something’s obviously on your mind.”
“You say this isn’t where you wanted to be, but you’re happy with the way things are. Make that make sense.”
Nope. Now I’m in the trap. Sharp, invisible teeth bite into me, holding me still as my heartbeat accelerates.
I drop my chin to my chest and close my eyes. At this rate, I’m going to break a rib with how hard my heart is beating.
“I decided to let go of a dream,” I say. “Some things… they don’t work out like we think they will or want them to, and that’s okay.”
Lifting my head, I stare back at him. “It’s okay because I am happy with this life we’ve carved out for ourselves. Building our companies bigger than anything we ever dreamed back in Cambridge. I have a full life, things I like to do, and people I like to hang out with. And now there’s Katherine. And Kingston. And it’s… They complete us, don’t you think?”
“I thought so.”
The tentativeness in those three words rocks me back on my heels. I hold my breath, waiting for more.
But more doesn’t come. “Sounds like there’s a but in there.”
He holds my gaze and lifts a shoulder. Annoyance curls through my middle.
“You wanted honesty from me, but you’re not ready to be honest back?” Fabulous. I just love battling my demons alone.
I shove my hands in my front pockets and hunch my shoulders. I can’t remember the last time he left me on my own for that. Which sounds sort of pathetic in my head.
“That was you being honest?” he asks softly. Skeptically. “You can’t even say what it is you want.”
