Page 101 of Off Script
I’m stuck in a no-win situation.
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I finally say, “Give me some time to think about it. I need to speak to Carlisle before I make any decisions.”
There’s an awkward pause before Becky says, “Umm, Ben, have you spoken to Carlisle recently?”
“No, I haven’t,” I unwillingly admit. “She asked for some time and I’m giving her that.” Something about the way Becky asked makes me wary. “Why?”
“Right after the paparazzi incident, I had a sit down with Carlisle. I needed to make sure she understood how serious the ramifications would be for you if the press found out about her. She told me that I didn’t need to worry about that because you two had split up. Luckily, she was willing to sign an NDA, so we don’t have to worry about her talking to the media.”
“Becky, no.” I slump forward in disbelief. “You’ve got it wrong. You must have misunderstood her. She wouldn't do that without talking to me first.”
Would she?
“No, Ben, I don’t think I did. She seemed confident in the decision.” A pregnant pause stretches between us again. “I’m sorry that this took you by surprise. I assumed you two made a mutual decision to split up.”
Draining my remaining whiskey, I mutter, “Well, we didn’t. But thanks for letting me know.”
After ending our call, I pour myself another drink. I can’t believe Becky, not without proof, so I call Jo. She’ll know if what Becky told me is true.
“Hey,” I croak, my emotions getting the better of me.
“Ben, are you okay? So much shit has gone down.”
Sighing, I take a moment to collect myself. “Yeah, I’m hanging in there, but Carlisle isn’t talking to me. Becky just told me that Carlisle…”Shit, how do I admit that my girlfriend broke up with me through my publicist?This is fucking humiliating. I furiously rub my hand down my face as I start again. “Carlisle told Becky that we broke up and since Carlisle won’t return my calls, I don’t know if that’s true or not. Have you seen her? Or spoken to her lately? Did she tell you that she wanted to end things with me?”
With an audible exhale, Jo replies, “No, I haven’t seen her since the news of your arrest broke. I know that she and Becky had a talk that day though. Want me to go check the house to see if she’s there?”
“Please.” I wait anxiously as I listen to Jo’s hurried footsteps as she searches the house, calling Carlisle’s name.
“Shit, Ben. Her all her stuff is gone, but she may have just gone to stay at her condo for a few days in case the media camped out at your house or something.” But then Jo gasps sadly. “Oh no."
"What? What is it?"
"Carlisle left your house key and the charm bracelet you gave her on the kitchen counter.”
35
Ben
This event, like all the others preceding it, is glitzy and glamorous; however, while the LA premiere forTruly, Madly, Deeplyis well attended, it’s nothing like the pandemonium that followed theCaptain Commandertour. Grace Grantham, the actress who plays my female love interest in the movie, is posing with me on the red carpet while Willa, my date for the evening, is waiting in the wings. Despite this not being one of Willa’s movies, I can hear the photographers chanting Willa’s name, begging for her to pose for them.
When I leave Grace’s side to take my place next to Willa, the hysteria builds amongst the crowds. There’s a fresh flurry of camera flashes and the clamoring increases substantially when she embraces me. “Smile for the cameras, Benji,” Willa murmurs, giving my arm a squeeze when I remain stone-faced, with only a hint of a smile on my lips.
I’m counting down the minutes until this night is over. It fucking hurts to act like I’m in love with Willa when all I want to do is find Carlisle, the actual woman who owns my heart. Too bad she wants nothing to do with me.
After so many events, they all blend together. I stand, smile, shake hands, answer questions, sign autographs, and then escape to my hotel room where I can let my mask slip.
Misery may love company, but my misery doesn’t. I prefer to spend my time alone with only Carlisle’s ghost for company.
At least after tonight, I’ll be returning to my house and not a hotel room. I’m free from any commitments until I start preproduction work onLosing Lovein the spring.
“Let’s just get this shit over with as quickly as possible,” I hiss through clenched jaws as I force the corners of my lips to curve upwards. I shouldn’t be such an asshole, but I experience difficulty controlling my anger when I’m around Willa.
In truth, I’ve been doing some of my best acting over the past few weeks. Everyone in the press believes that I’m madly in love with Willa when reality couldn’t be further from the truth.
I’m not surprised to see Trevor and Jordan's cars in my driveway when I arrive home from the premiere. Jo has been keeping them abreast of my moods, worried that I’ll sink into another depression like I did after finding out that Cole was the father of Kelsey’s baby.
I find my friends drinking beers in my living room and watching a basketball game when I walk into the house.
