Page 12 of Off Script

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CARLISLE

Barely. Why are you up so early on a Sunday?

I'm a morning person, so I've been up for hours.

CARLISLE

Okay, Grandpa.

Grandpa?

CARLISLE

Sorry. Do you prefer Boomer? Old timer? Geezer?

I love how she teases me and gives me shit. I've become accustomed to women routinely fawning over me, which is mostly disingenuous and gets irritatingafter a while.

But not Carlisle. Oh no, she enjoys taking my ego down a few notches.

You're cranky this morning. Send me your address. I’ll have coffee delivered to cheer you up.

CARLISLE

Nice try, but I’m not giving up my address that easily.

(In case you end up being a weirdo after all.)

Still hung up on that possibility?

CARLISLE

Maybe.

Fine. No coffee for you. (Read that in the Soup Nazi’s voice.)

CARLISLE

???

You don’t know who the Soup Nazi is? You've never watchedSeinfeldreruns?

CARLISLE

At first, I was kidding about the grandpa jokes, but… seriously, how old are you?

Seinfeldis a classic. It should be required viewing for all TV watchers.

And to answer your question, I’m 30. You?

CARLISLE

Just turned 23.

As with all the tidbits of her life that she shares with me, I file that piece of information away in my brain.

What are you up to today?

CARLISLE

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