Page 90 of Off Script
“I’ve been a grumpy bastard lately. I’m sorry. I was overwhelmed at first, but things have become clearer to me.” Lifting her coat from the back of the sofa, I hold it open for her to slip her arms inside. As she tugs it on, I sweep her hair out from under the coat. Once Willa has it buttoned, I offer her my hand. “Come on, let’s see what Berlin has to offer.”
Sliding her tiny hand in mine, she smiles up at me, and it’s the first genuine smile she’s shown me since London. “Okay.”
We make small talk as we walk the six blocks to the restaurant. Normally, we’d take a car, but since the whole goal for this date is publicity, the studio wants as many people to see us as possible; therefore, we’re walking with a few bodyguards trailing us. I don’t mind. Afterspending a week inside hotels, event centers, and airplanes, it’s nice to be outside breathing fresh air.
As we amble toward our destination, I tell Willa about the restaurant. It’s a small place that caters mostly to locals rather than tourists, and it was awarded a Michelin star this year. I’d like to say that I had some say in picking it, but I didn’t. Someone from the studio or our publicity team made the reservations.
When there’s a lull in conversation, Willa asks me how things are going with Carlisle, but I politely shut her down. “Let’s not talk about Carlisle. Let’s focus on the here and now tonight.”
After thinking about Becky’s phone call, I realized she was correct. It isn’t Willa’s job to worry about or deal with Carlisle’s feelings. That is solely my responsibility as her boyfriend, so in order to remove that burden from Willa, I think it’s best if I don’t talk about Carlisle in front of Willa anymore.
Willa sends me another look of surprise.
Squeezing her hand, I take the opportunity to express my regret. “I’d like to apologize for my behavior, Willa. This whole situation between us has been hard on me, but I forgot to consider that it was also hard on you. That was selfish of me.”
Willa mutters, “There are photographers ahead.” Then she leans into my body, and I cinch my arm around her waist. “Thank you for what you said before.”
“I don’t want everything going on right now to ruin what we have. Let’s try our best to forget all the noise and get back to being us.”
“I’d like that, Benji.”
“After dinner, want to get caught up on the new season ofThe Bachelorwith me?”
While we were filmingCaptain Commander, Willa and I spent countless hours in her trailer binge-watching several seasons of thedating show between takes. We even started betting on the outcomes of each episode. Somehow Willa could almost always correctly predict who would receive a rose and who would get sent home.
“You’re on!” Delight glitters in her eyes and the sight of her happiness eases some of my guilt and makes me remember how much I enjoy Willa as a friend. “Let’s bet again and the loser has to work something silly into our next public appearance.”
Unsure of what she means, I quirk an eyebrow in her direction. “Such as…”
She inclines her head, thinking for a moment before she answers me. “Okay, if I win, then you have to say the phrasegood golly, miss Mollyduring our television interview tomorrow. And you have to be straight-faced. You can’t act like you know it’s a weird thing to say.”
I groan as I chuckle, already imagining how I can work that into an interview and make it sound natural. “Ugh, you know I’m gonna lose. I always lose these bets.”
However, if I win, I need a good saying to embarrass Willa. Several of my dad’s colloquialisms flit through my mind. All hat, no cattle. The cheese fell off his cracker. As useless as a screen door on a submarine. But then I remember the one that made Carlisle laugh the most. Giving Willa an amused side-eye, I add, “But on the off chance that I prevail, I want you to say the phrasehappier than a tick on a hemorrhoid.”
Willa laughs loudly, throwing her head back. “What the hell does that even mean?”
I shrug with a grin. “Not quite sure.”
“Let me guess. It’s one of your dad’s sayings.”
“You know it is. No one besides my dad says shit like that,” I laugh.
“Can I change mine fromgood golly, miss Mollyto something worse?”
“Nope. You’re locked in.”
For the rest of the evening, our conversation flows freely, and we laugh together often. As Willa and I walk back to our hotel, I feel more at ease than I have since the showmance started. We feel like we’re getting back to being good friends again. Nothing feels forced or awkward.
Sure, we held hands and hugged, but we never crossed a line that made me feel uncomfortable or like I was cheating on Carlisle. We were just two friends having dinner and catching up. It makes me believe that I can do this. I can survive the fauxmance with both my relationship with Carlisle and my friendship with Willa intact.
As the final commercial break ofThe Bachelorepisode commences, Willa and I are each hoping to pull out a victory. We both selected Christa to get the boot, which she did because she’s a total psychopath, but now we’re on the edge of our seats to see if Lainey or Devin receives the last rose.
When my phone buzzes, I grab it off the coffee table and quickly read Carlisle’s text before tossing my phone back down. “You can answer that if you need to,” Willa offers.
“Nah,” I shake my head. I’ll respond when I head to bed after this episode is over. I don’t want to screw things up with Willa again by texting Carlisle in front of her. When I’m with Willa, I want to give her my full attention as I would with any other friend. My phone buzzes from another text and I silence my phone.
Willa eyes me curiously before shrugging. “Victory is mine, Benji. He’s totally going to send Lainey home. She’s too sweet and boring for him. He’s a freaking Nascar driver! He lives for excitement and adrenaline rushes. There’s no way that he’ll pick her.”
