Page 113 of Off Script
“Oh, I want you.” With my head on his chest, I listen to the cadence of his heart, steady and strong.
When he pulls away and leans over to open his nightstand, I sit up to see what he’s doing and then I spy a flash of something shiny in his hand.
“You still have it?” I gasp as he latches the charm bracelet on my wrist before he drops his forehead to mine and takes a deep breath, like he’s finally able to relax.
“I still have everything of yours.” He chuckles, almost embarrassed. “I even kept a receipt I found in the kitchen from a bagel place becauseit had your name on the order. I couldn’t part with any piece of you that I had left.”
My heart lodges in my throat at the sadness and longing in his voice, mostly because I understand those feelings so well. I reach up to stroke his face and whisper, “I love you.”
“I love you too, babe.”
I lift my head from the bed and kiss him, reassuring him through my actions that I’m not going anywhere. I snuggle into his side as he lazily runs his fingers through my hair, and I revel in his touch. Being with him again just feels so right.
“I know we have a lot to talk about. Catch me up on what you’ve been doing since we last spoke.”
Ben clears his throat uneasily. “This feels all kinds of wrong to discuss this when we’re naked, but I’m assuming you heard that Willa and I ended our publicity arrangement.”
“I may have heard something about that.”
“Our friendship was never the same between us since everything went down in Tokyo. After that night, I pulled away from her completely. I've only spoken to her once since the promo tours wrapped.”
Interrupting him, I blurt out, “But I thought you two went to the Bahamas together over Christmas?” So much for playing it cool. I add, “Not that I was keeping up with you or anything.”
Ben’s mouth twitches as a smile briefly hits his face at my half-assed denial. “No, I ended up taking Trevor and Jordan. I needed to escape after everything went down between us.”
“Were the photos AI generated or something?” I ask, scrunching my nose. “Harper said that she saw photos of you and Willa on a beach.”
“They were old. Those photos were from a trip that a group of us took almost two years ago to Turks and Caicos. Becky posted thosephotos to social media because I refused to see Willa after the promo tours were finished, but our publicity team wanted to continue the charade that Willa and I were still together.”
His explanation makes me feel better. To know that he didn’t take Willa on the Christmas vacation that we planned alleviates so much hurt and jealousy.
“Tell me about Tokyo.” I push myself up so that I’m leaning on my elbow. “What happened after we got off the phone? You said you were going to the hotel to sleep.”
“I did, but Willa called me drunk and high from the club a few hours later. She, Thad, and Evan had gone out. They’d been drinking heavily and taking some pills, and she was freaking out because they’d ditched her and gone to a different club.” He sighs. “When she called, she wasn’t coherent, and I was worried about her. Worried for her safety, but also worried about her reputation if the press saw her in that state. I’d been fast asleep when she called me, but I went to pick her up. When I got to the club, she was inside, dancing on tables, and making out with some random guy. She was a mess, and I was so pissed at her for losing control like that. She was lucky she was at a private club that doesn’t allow photos or videos to be taken inside. I found out that Thad had given her ecstasy, which makes you hypersexual. She kept trying to kiss me and anyone else she could get her hands on. I had to drag her out of there, and when we were leaving…”
“Yeah, I saw the video.”
“She kissed me and since I was holding her and fighting my way through the crowd, my reaction time was slowed. I couldn’t escape her lips.” He shakes his head, as though he’s disappointed in himself. “I was mad at Willa, and then I took my anger out on the paparazzo. Not that he didn’t have it coming, but I should’ve kept my cool.”
I place my hand on his chest to reassure him. “You were protecting your friend, Ben.”
“I was,” Ben agrees. His fingertips are lightly running up and down my back, helping to relax me as we rehash the past. “Turns out you were correct. Willa does have feelings for me. She came clean to me right before her publicist confirmed our breakup. Willa hoped that by pretending we were together, I might develop romantic feelings towards her. But I didn’t. I couldn’t, not when I was falling in love with you, Carlisle.”
“Where do you guys stand now?”
“Willa is taking time off to travel. I’d like to remain friends, but only if that is something you’re comfortable with, and I understand completely, if it’s not. You’re my priority, not Willa.”
It isn't until Ben utters those words,you're my priority, that I fully realize how much that sentiment means. “Thank you for saying that.”
Truthfully, I’m not sure what to think about Willa or Ben’s friendship with her. It would be easy to blame her for everything that transpired, but it wouldn’t be accurate. He needs to take responsibility for his part of it too.
Then, as if he can read my mind, he says, “As all this stuff was happening, I realized something important. If I’m ever going to make a relationship work, I can’t make big decisions alone. I never should have agreed to the showmance without discussing it with you first.” His hand stills, resting on my hip, pulling me closer into his body. “Whatever choices I make in my professional life will impact our personal lives. Moving forward, I want to make these decisions jointly so that you'll never be blindsided again.”
His words provide a sense of security that I was missing previously. “That means a lot. Thank you.” I whisper, tears pricking my eyelids.
“Oh, and I landed the role inLosing Love.”
“Congratulations.”
