Page 39 of Off Script
He licked his lips as his fingers inched their way up my thigh.I shifted in my seat, hoping to dislodge his hand from my leg, but it didn’t work. So, I crossed my legs and squeezed my thighs together as tightly as I could to impede his hand’s ascent.
Attempting to keep my fear and revulsion at bay, I wrestled my face into a neutral expression. I didn’t know how he’d react if he realized that I wasn’t open to his idea. Would he force himself on me? He already kissed me and touched me against my will. I didn’t want to find out what else he was capable of.
Smoothing down my skirt with shaking hands, I told him, “I’ll think about it and let you know my number tomorrow.”
While Mr. King’s inappropriate behavior towards me at work has always made me uncomfortable, I usually manage to ignore, rationalize, or dismiss it. It’s irritated and annoyed me, but I’ve made all kindsof excuses to downplay the seriousness of his harassment because I feel trapped until I can find another job.
I'm too sensitive.
I imagined that his eyes lingered on my cleavage a second too long.
It was inadvertent when his hand brushed some part of my body.
It’s no big deal that he rubs my shoulders when he comes up behind me at my desk.
I read too far into his off-color comments and lewd suggestions.
But after today, I can’t do that anymore. Because there is no excuse for kissing me, touching me, and propositioning me like he did.
“I knew you were a smart girl, Carlisle. Let’s plan on a private lunch meeting at my desk tomorrow to finalize our arrangement.”
I stood and this time he didn’t stop me from leaving. Trembling, I walked briskly to the door. As soon as I shut it behind me, I ran. Haphazardly grabbing my things from my desk, I ran out of the building, and I didn’t stop running until I reached the bus stop.
With only tenuous control over my emotions, I haltingly tell Harper about what transpired. Then I wait for the explosion. It only takes two seconds for her temper to detonate.
“What the hell, Carlisle? Seriously, how much longer are you going to work there? No, fuck that! You cannot continue working there! He’s been harassing you for months and now he’s crossed the line into sexual battery.”
I sit mute. I’ve done nothing wrong—I know that—but it feels like Harper’s angry with me.
Or maybe it’s that I’m angry with myself.
All evening I’ve been going over what I could have done differently. Did I somehow lead him to believe I was interested? Was I too friendly? Did I dress inappropriately? Should I have worn less make-up? CouldI have been better at avoiding him in the office? Is this somehow all my fault?
“Maybe you can get a job waitressing at night so you can volunteer during the day to get more business experience or something. Anything would be better than where you’re working now! You can’t go back there. If you do, he could really hurt you, Carlisle. More than he did today.”
“I know,” I admit quietly.
I was only trapped in Mr. King’s office for a few minutes at most, but it felt like an eternity. What he did to me was awful, but he could have done so much worse. I can’t even bring myself to contemplate what he has planned for me tomorrow during ourlunch meeting.
The acid in my stomach churns from anxiety and I push away from the table. I won’t be able to eat anything else tonight. I move to sit in the chair in the living room. Harper follows me. Sullenly, I pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them.
“Maybe you could ask your dad for some money to tide you over?” Harper says tentatively, knowing how much I’ll hate her suggestion. “Just until you get a new job. I’m sure he’d understand if you told him what happened.”
“No way! I am not asking him for anything. He didn’t even invite me to holiday dinner. Do you really think he’ll give me money?” My response is emphatic and instantaneous.
“If you want, I can ask my parents for money. I don’t have to tell them it’s for you.”
Concern and worry are etched on Harper’s face, and I feel guilty bringing her into my problems. Harper has stood by me throughso many huge hurdles in my life. She was there for me while my mom was sick and after she died and when my dad remarried and basically disowned me. I hate that I’m dragging her into my drama yet again.
“No, you’ve already done plenty for me. Thank you though.” I feel my eyes filling with unshed tears, and I send Harper a brief, watery smile. “I’ll figure something out.”
Harper moves towards me and sits on the arm of my chair, dragging me into a tight hug. I lean into her embrace and finally let my unshed tears fall. “I’m with you and we’ll figure something out together,” she murmurs, smoothing my hair with her hand.
Not long after our talk, I plead exhaustion and go into my bedroom. Lying in bed, I quietly cry long enough that I start to feel my eyelids swelling. Sniffling pitifully, I sit up and force myself to stem the waterworks.
What am I going to do?I can’t afford to quit without another job lined up, but there’s no way I can go back to Staples King tomorrow. I mull over Harper’s idea to get a waitressing job and volunteer for more business experience.Since Ben has lived in LA for a long time, I bet he might know of some restaurants or cafes that are hiring.
Thinking of Ben, I feel the first hint of a smile to cross my lips since everything happened this afternoon.
