Page 68 of Off Script
“Ben, it’s okay,” I mutter, letting him off the hook for breaking my heart. “We never labeled what we had between us. It was naïve of me to jump to conclusions. You’re free to date whomever you want… but I… I can’t do that. I can’t compete with Willa Radford.”
“There is no competition. It’s not what you think, Carlisle. The thing between Willa and me is fake. It was orchestrated by the movie studio to increase publicity.” His words are tumbling out faster and faster. “I didn’t want to do it. I tried to get out of it, but I couldn’t without jeopardizing my standing with the studio and an upcoming project. I shouldn't even be telling you this since I signed an NDA.”
“Wait, what?” I pull away from him as his words sink in, and this time he lets me. My heart is beating out of my chest as hope swellswithin me. “How long have you known?” I’m still angry, and incredibly hurt, but his wild explanation is like a panacea for my broken heart.
“I first heard about the idea a little over a week ago, but I found out on Friday morning that I’d didn’t have a choice. I was told by my publicist that my studio publicity contract was vague enough that the studio could force me to do it or else I’d be in breach of contract.” He brushes a piece of hair off my forehead tenderly. “After making love to you, I was elated to wake up in bed with you the next morning. I felt like I was on top of the world. And then I got word that we were having to go ahead with the showmance –"
“Showmance?”
“A romance that’s all for show. Sometimes it’s also called a fauxmance since it’s fake. Or a PR relationship.”
“This type of thing happens a lot?”
“More than you’d think. I should have told you immediately, but I was a coward and didn’t want to ruin what little time we had left. I told myself that I would tell you on the plane home to LA, but instead, I spent the entire flight panicking, searching for the right words.”
Needing clarification, I ask, “You’re not dating Willa? You don’t like her like that?” I feel silly voicing my questions, but my head, and my heart, need to hear his answers.
“We’re publicly dating, but not by choice, and there aren’t any romantic feelings involved. She’s one of my good friends, but that’s all we are. That’s all we’ll ever be. Our relationship is an extension of our acting roles except instead of being in a movie and following a script, we’re going off script and pretending to be in a relationship for the media.” He places my hand over his heart and covers it with his own. “You’re the only person I want to date, but…” He pauses and lets out a regretful sigh. “Unfortunately, this thing between Willa and me is part of the revamped promotional plan for the movie.”
The rigidity in my body starts to loosen. “How long will it last?”
“Until the promotional tours for both my movies are finished in late December. Then we’ll officially split in January. I know it isn’t fair of me to ask this of you, but please don’t end things with me, Carlisle. Wait for me. Please.”
My mind is racing at the thought of having to share Ben, even if it is fake. To an extent, I already share Ben with the public. Is this situation much different than him playing a romantic lead in a film?
“What do you mean when you ask me to wait for you?”
“I’m locked into the fauxmance, so for the time being, everything between you and me has to stay a secret. But after those six weeks—"
There’s a quiet knocking on the front door and Harper pops her head into the condo, cautiously eyeing me and ignoring Ben. “I have the groceries. Let me pop them in the fridge and then I’ll head over to Philip’s. He texted that he's on his way home from the airport." She pauses, narrowing her eyes. "Unless you want me to stay?”
Ben and I need more time to discuss everything, so I shake my head and reply, “Thanks, Harper. I’m good. I’ll call you later.”
When Ben and I are alone again, I face him. “Look, I like you, Ben, and I want to try to make this work.”
He lowers his forehead to mine and mutters, “Thank God.” He peppers my face with gentle kisses. “Carlisle, I haven’t felt this way before. When I thought I may have lost you…”
As soon as I wind my arms around his neck, his lips are on mine, coaxing my lips to open. Touching him sets off a frenzy of emotions within me. His tongue duels with mine as a jolt of lust sizzles through me. I match his intensity, putting every bit of longing, jealousy, and hurt into our kiss, hoping to convey my feelings without words.
His mouth moves away from my lips, as he nips along my jawline and neck causing me to shiver with need. Hard up for more, I arch my back, pressing my breasts into his body.
I both hate and love that he can do this to me, make me lose control with just a kiss.
As his mouth lowers to my clavicle and he kisses my decolletage, my chest heaves. There is a growing ache deep in my belly that I can’t ignore, but I need to do just that. Having sex with Ben again won’t fix our issues. If I give into him now, without working anything out, I’ll hate myself later for being a pushover.
Gently, I shove him off me, breaking our contact.
“Ben, wait. I need, I can’t just… I have a lot to absorb and understand.” I take a deep breath and bite my lip to keep it from quivering. “It hurt me so badly to feel you pull away from me and then to see the photos of you on a date with Willa, especially since you know my convoluted history with my dad cheating.”
“I’m so fucking sorry. I will keep apologizing until you believe me, and I’ve regained your trust. I know my communication has sucked, but I promise that I’ll be upfront and open with you from this point going forward, especially when it concerns Willa. Just please keep me around.” Smiling, he adds, “I’m groveling here in case you didn’t notice.”
“Duly noted.”
Dropping down to his knees, he clasps my hand before kissing my palm. “I can beg too.”
Chuckling, I haul him to his feet. “No need for begging. Yet.”
“So, we’re… okay?”
