Page 70 of Off Script
I flinch at her words and guilt takes residence in my chest again. “I’m so sorry, Carlisle."
She props herself up on her elbows. I sit down next to her on the bed. “I am too. I should have gotten in contact with you as soonas possible. I shouldn’t have let my fears fester. If I would have just charged my phone and spoken to you on Friday, then all this could have been avoided.”
“No.” I shake my head solemnly. “None of this is your fault. This was entirely my fault, Carlisle.”
Gently, I place a chaste kiss on her lips before straddling my knees on either side of her hips, keeping my body elevated above hers so my weight doesn’t aggravate her sunburn. I apply a thick coating of aloe on her back and arms and then down her legs.
As my hands methodically massage Carlisle’s body, I fantasize about what I could be doing to her if I hadn’t screwed things up between us. How I could slip her panties to the side and pump my fingers into her, circling her g-spot until she is writhing with pleasure. How I could then part her lips and kiss her clit, flicking it with my tongue until she cried out my name and suffocated me with her thighs. How I could lift her hips and slide my cock into her warmth, bottoming out over and over again until we both came.
Instead, I roll off the bed and turn on the fan.
The next morning over coffee, I cautiously raise the topic of my upcoming schedule. I promised Carlisle I’d be upfront with her, and I plan on keeping my word, although she won’t like hearing what I have to say.
“Next week is theCaptain Commanderpremiere here in LA, and then the following day, I leave for the promotional tour abroad. It’s a tight timeline of events—interviews, red carpets, screenings, and pressjunkets in London—then we fly to Paris and do it all over. Then onto Berlin, Tokyo, and Seoul. We’re only in each city for a couple of days before we pick up and move the party to the next country.”
The two-week publicity tour will be jam-packed, with very little downtime. While I’d love for Carlisle to accompany me on the promotional tours, the studio would never allow it. They can’t risk anyone finding out about her. Studio 67 needs to protect my PR relationship with Willa to increase positive publicity for the movie. And increase their profit margins.
I gauge her reaction as I explain what theCaptain Commanderpromo tour entails,and most importantly, that the studio has more dates planned for Willa and me. I lean across the patio table and engulf Carlisle’s hands in mine. “Willa and I are supposed to go on another date tonight.”
Carlisle instantly withdraws her hands from mine.
“Talk to me. How are you feeling?”
She pulls in a shaky inhalation and remains quiet for a few moments. Lifting her wide eyes to meet mine, she replies hesitantly, “I’m scared. I’m jealous. I’m… uncomfortable with it all. I don’t want to think about you kissing another woman, much less having those kisses splashed across the cover of every tabloid.”
I hate that I’m causing her pain. “It sucks and I wish I didn’t have to do it.” I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Willa is one of my friends, so when we’re on our dates, we’re talking like we would if you were there with us. In fact, on Friday night, we spent most of dinner talking about you.”
She tilts her head. “You did?”
“Yeah. I told her all about you.” I smile a little. “She read me the riot act for not telling you about the showmance ahead of time.”
“Because you should have.” Carlisle returns my smile, beginning to look more at ease.
“Agreed.” Blowing out a breath, I continue, “When it comes time for us to act like a couple, it’s just that—acting. We treat it as an extension of our job duties.”
Carlisle nods slowly as she absorbs my words. “It’s just going to take time for me to get used to the situation.”
“I’ll do everything in my power to make it as easy on you as I can. I want you to talk to me and tell me how you’re feeling. If you don’t tell me when you’re upset or worried, I won’t be able to reassure you. I know I fucked up and I’m trying to make amends. But this can only work between us if we’re both honest and open to being vulnerable with one another.”
A crease settles between her brows. “I’ll try, Ben.”
Moving from my chair, I circle the table and kneel beside Carlisle’s chair. With my thumb, I lightly rub the furrow before clasping her face in my hands. “That’s all I ask, babe. I can only imagine how difficult this is for you.” When my eyes lock upon hers, I hope she reads my sincerity in them. “But I will never cheat on you, Carlisle. I will never give you room to doubt me again. Everything that happens between Willa and me is part of my job and not based on real feelings.”
She shuts me up with her mouth. Her lips move against mine and it sends flutters to my heart and tingles down my spine. When she opens her mouth and swipes her tongue against mine it’s like pouring kerosene on an already burning fire. She doesn’t just kiss me, she consumes me.
When we break apart, her stare tells me that she wants to believe me. She wants to trust me.
But that she still harbors reservations.
As our second dinner date winds down, Willa convinces me to bring her home to meet Carlisle. Willa thinks it will put Carlisle’s mind at ease, but as I’m driving us back to my house, I’m second-guessing the plan. I hope Carlisle isn’t too caught off-guard by this spontaneous introduction.
Because if she is, she might murder me in my sleep tonight. Carlisle knows a lot about true crime, so I’m confident that she could do it and get away with it.
Realizing I’m nervous, Willa reaches across the car console and grabs my hand, giving it a squeeze. “It’s for the best, I swear.”
“God, I hope you’re right, Pipsqueak.”
“I am,” she replies, her voice filled with merriment.
