Page 10 of Every Now and Then
“That feels good,” he murmurs, lightly kissing my temple. “Relaxing.”
I murmur my agreement. Everything between us feels so easy and relaxing.
But it doesn’t feel like I imagined a one-night stand would. This isn’t somewham-bam-thank-you-ma’amexperience and that unsettles me.
To escape that thought, I ask another question, “You play?”
“Play?”
I gesture toward a battered guitar case in the motel room’s far corner. “Guitar. Do you play the guitar?” I specify. "Is that one of your hobbies?"
He nods, “Yeah.”
“Any good?”
“Pretty good.”
“Hmm, no cockiness in that response, so you must not be that good."
He laughs.
I feel brave in the darkened room, so I ask in a whisper, “Did you think about her at all tonight? You know, when we…”
His answer comes quickly. “No, Annabelle. My mind was fullyon you. Only you.”
“Good.” I don’t have any right to feel jealous, but I do when I think about Hayes with his ex. Maybe jealous isn’t the right word. It’s more like… envy. I'm envious because she had a year with Hayes, and I only have a night.
“What about you? Did you think about him? Was this your first time since…”
“It was, but no, I didn’t think about him either.” At least not while Hayes and I were having sex.
But now, my mind delves into my past with Kyle and the sorry state of our marriage. A surprising twinge of disloyalty runs through me. Kyle was unfaithful, yet I still feel a flicker of guilt for sleeping with Hayes. After a decade with the same man, I guess it’s normal to feel conflicted the first time you sleep with someone new.
Too bad Kyle didn’t feel the same guilt I do.
Breaking me out of my doldrums, Hayes clears his throat. “I know we’re doing this out of order, but I’m clean. We used condoms, and I haven’t slept with anyone else since I was last tested.” He pauses. “I just didn’t want you to worry since you don’t seem the type to have one-night stands often.”
Chuckling, I add, “Or ever.”
“Seriously? Not even in high school or college?” The amazement in his voice amuses me.
“Seriously. I’ve only slept with two people.” I let my comment hang as Hayes quickly deduces that he is only the second man I’ve had sex with. Before the silence becomes too awkward, I remark, “I’m wondering about your timeline, though. You just broke up with your girlfriend today. So, what? Did you get tested in the last few hours?”
“Last month, actually. Insurance required a new physical.” He pushes a wayward curl off his forehead and blows out a slow breath. “My ex and I hadn’t had sex in a long time, which is one of the many reasons I broke up with her. We were friends masquerading as lovers.”
Shifting my weight onto my elbow, I glance up at Hayes. I understand his comment far better than I wish I did.
“I feel bad about breaking up with her. Not because I want to be with her, but because I hate hurting her.”
“You did the right thing, Hayes. Believe me, the longer you allowed the relationship to continue past its expiration date, the worse the hurt is.”
Lifting an eyebrow, he studies me. “Speaking from experience?”
“Something like that.” I duck my head before settling back down on his chest. I’m grateful that he doesn’t pry or ask for more details than what I sparse out.
“You’re easy to talk to, Annabelle.”
“Maybe it’s easier for us to open up because we’re strangers, so our opinions of each other don’t matter.” But I’m lying because Hayes’ opinion of me matters more than it should. “I’ve never had sex outside of a relationship before. I know it should feel weird or uncomfortable, but it doesn’t.”
