Page 36 of Every Now and Then
Wrong again.
One guess left.
I stare at the screen, my mind blank. How can I have been married to this man for over eight years and not even have three solid guesses about his phone password?
Wiping the tears from my face, I stack the discarded tubs on the side of the garage. Who cares if they’re organized or not? I slide the burner phone into the pocket of my shorts and close the garage door.
I feel stupid for loving Kyle blindly. He took advantage of my trust and abused my loyalty. Is this his only affair or have there been others?
Has our entire marriage been a sham?
I’m angry at Kyle for upending my life, but I’m terrified for Grace and Claire. How will this impact them?
I switch on their favorite movie and get them set up on the couch. Tucking in blankets around their little legs, I drop a kiss on each of their foreheads before I wander into my bedroom and sink onto the bed. I take a few slow, deep breaths, but it does nothing to quell my anxiety.
Do I want a divorce?
I don’t know if I can stay married to a man I no longer trust.
But I have children. Every decision I make affects them, too.
If our marriage doesn’t survive Kyle’s affair, I want to look my daughters in the eye and honestly say I did everything I could to save our family.
For them, I’m willing to fight—for my marriage, for the life we built, for a second chance.
But it can’t be just me. It depends on Kyle, too. If he’s not willing to fight for our marriage, then what’s the point?
I need to know.
I dial his office number.
“Hey, Anna. What’s up?” He answers on the second ring, sounding a little harried.
I can’t control my emotions, and my voice cracks. “Kyle.”
“Is everything okay?” His voice is full of concern, which should ease some of my fears. If nothing else, it proves he still cares about me. Butinstead of comfort, it only fuels my agitation. If he cared at all, how did he let this happen?
“No, nothing is okay!” I whisper-scream. “I found your box in the garage. How long, Kyle? How long have you been having an affair?”
“What? No—it’s not what you think!”
“Don’t lie to me!” I slump onto the bed, sadness seeping into my voice as I fight back sobs. “How could you do this to me? Tous? To the girls?” I press my fingers to my eyelids, trying to stem the flow of tears. “Was I not enough to make you happy? Not a good enough wife? Not a good enough mother? When did I stop being enough for you?” My voice cracks as my words taper off.
When he finally speaks, his voice is thick with guilt. “I’m so sorry, Anna. I never meant for this to happen.”
And somehow, the remorse in his voice offers a strange vindication. At least now I know I’m not the only one drowning in the pain that he caused.
“That’s bullshit, Kyle! At any point along the way, you could have been the man I married. The man who never would have flirted with another woman, much less taken part in a full-blown affair. Don’t you dare say you didn’t mean for this to happen! Be an adult and take responsibility for your actions!”
“I’m so sorry. You’re right. I-I… I don’t know why I did it.”
Despondent, I whisper, “What do we do? Where do we go from here? Do we get a divorce? Is that what you want?”
Kyle hesitates, and my heart breaks a little more at his silence. His pause is telling, providing me with the answer I didn’t want but needed to hear.
“Anna, please—”
I go on the defensive. He’s hurt me too deeply, so I bury my anguish beneath anger. “You know what, Kyle? Don’t come home! Our marriage is over.”
