Page 68 of Every Now and Then
Set in an exclusive neighborhood with top-rated schools and nearby parks, the house sits on a gated lot and boasts five bedrooms, a playroom, and a sprawling backyard. Rowdy didn’t just buy a house; he built a foundation for his future with Bailey.
As I sit in my truck in Rowdy’s circular driveway, I rub my sternum. Something warm yet uncomfortable lodges in my chest.
I think I’m falling in love.
Fuck that. I think I started falling in love with her the night we met. But now… I’m one hundred percent head over heels in love with Annabelle.
The fact that her happiness will be forever tied to mine from this moment on scares the hell out of me. I’ve lived a selfish life until now, answering to no one but myself. It feels like I’m on a speeding train with no brakes, careening toward a future I always craved but didn’t expect. There’s no escape, no way to veer off the tracks. Whether I’m ready for it, whether I’m terrified or uncomfortable, it doesn’t change the fact that it’s happening.
Adding to my worries is the fact that I was raised by a single mom who rarely dated. I didn't grow up witnessing romantic love. I don't know how to love someone properly.
What if I fuck this up? I can’t let Annabelle down. I can’t disappoint her.
Despite the chilly mid-morning temperatures, I break out into a light sweat.
A knock on my truck’s driver’s side window interrupts my thoughts. Startling in my seat, I look up to see Rowdy. He’s holding onto a steaming coffee mug and has one eyebrow raised, looking at me like I’m crazy. Unlatching my seat belt, I push open the door and hop out of the truck.
“Wasn’t sure if you planned on sitting out here all day or if you wanted to come inside,” Rowdy says. “You look a little dazed and confused, Hayes. You okay?”
I nod.
“Does this have anything to do with Annabelle?”
“You know it,” I confirm with a heavy sigh.
“I figured. Let’s head inside to talk because Bailey will want to hear everything too. You came at a good time. She’s been craving sweets this week, so she made a batch of chocolate chip cookies. They just came out of the oven, so we can eat while you spill your guts.”
“Hayes!” Bailey squeals when I follow Rowdy into their gigantic kitchen. She stops transferring warm cookies from their baking tray onto a wire rack just long enough to let me give her a hug. “It’s my third favorite member of Outlaw,” she teases.
“Third? Who do I need to kill to move into second place?” I feign outrage at her comment.
Rowdy crosses his arms and leans his butt against the kitchen counter. “James got Bailey a gift certificate for a prenatal massage at some bougie spa.”
“Why?” I ask.
Bailey swats me with a hot pad. “Some people don’t think you have to have a reason to buy a gift for a friend.”
“He barfed out the window of Bailey’s car last week when she was our designated driver,” Rowdy supplies with a grin. “You know how James is. A man of few words, but a man of many drinks.”
“Wait. So, Dumb barfed,” I pause for dramatic effect, “in your car, and he’s still in the second spot? What the hell, Bailey? Shouldn’t I get a reward for not being a drunk tool who can’t handle his liquor?”
“It wasoutof my car, notinmy car. Big difference.” Bailey cocks an eyebrow and asks, “Anyway, how are things with Annabelle going? I’m assuming that’s why you’re here, right?”
My playful teasing vanishes as my nerves resurface. “They’re good. We’re good. Good, yeah, good. Pretty good,” I say, bopping my head.
She laughs and points her spatula at me while looking at her husband. “Are you surehe’sthe wordsmith behind most of your hit songs?”
Half of Rowdy’s mouth lifts, and he shoots a conspiratorial glance at his wife. “Hayes, are you trying to convince yourself or us that everything’s going well between you and Annabelle?”
My mouth becomes as dry as the Sahara Desert. The words catch in my throat, choked by fear. Sure, I love my friends and tell them on occasion, but I’ve never uttered the wordsI love youin the romantic sense before. To admit that I’m falling in love with Annabelle gives her the power to blow up my world. Just the thought of her breaking up with me sends waves of fear and terror through my body.
Shit, and we aren’t even really together yet. We haven’t made anything official. I wonder if that should be my next move.
I mean, she admitted to “catching up on her reading,” and we kissed. But we didn’t discuss any specifics. I think I need specifics. I’m a man. I need things spelled out for me. I live in the black and white, not the shades of gray.
Though I wouldn’t mind exploring50 Shades of Greywith Annabelle.
Fuck, focus!
