Page 3 of Heart of the Raven
He held out his hand toward the door. “Another time then, my lady.”
I fled from the room and hurled the contents of my stomach into the first bucket I could find. Then, wiping my mouth with my handkerchief, I stood, one hand on my stomach as thoughts darted through my mind. He was a monster and marrying him would condemn me to a life of misery.
After washing my mouth out, I went in search of my mother, heart pounding. She was in her study, writing letters, and gave me a sour look when I walked in. “I have to break off the engagement,” I burst out. “I can’t marry him.”
She fixed her steely gaze on me, her mouth in a firm line that I recognized whenever we argued. “Can’t? Or won’t?” she demanded, massaging her temples.
I should have felt sorry for her. She’d married my father, a foreigner to the kingdom, for love. My mother had two sisters who had both passed away. One leaving a son, Lord Cedric, who was exiled to Whispering Vine, and the other who had no children. After father died, it was just her and I. Although I knew she was searching for a man to remarry and provide her with wealth and pleasure for the rest of her life. My marriage to Lord Brecken would provide her with an ideal situation and ensure her needs were met for the rest of her days. My refusal to take his hand would not be dealt with kindly. But she had to know.
“Sasha, we’ve been over this before and I grow weary of your selfishness. Arranged marriages are just what happens here, accept it. Lord Brecken is not a man who will be denied, but you already understand what kind of man he is. He will be kind to you, as long as you please him, and it will be good for you. We will have a home and we will not be destitute when the money runs out.”
There it was, her own selfish reasoning. “I don’t love him, and his very touch makes me ill,” I disagreed.
Mother laughed. “Who said anything about love? Marriage isn’t for love but necessity. We need a roof over our heads and I am unwilling to give up our comfortable lifestyle, and neither are you. Look at you, in your fine silks, rouge on your cheeks and every hair in place. If you don’t bathe every day, you sink into a dark mood. Do you want to be like the peasants, out there toiling the fields with dirt under their fingernails? Stinking of sweat and dung? Trust me, you don’t want to find out what it’s like to work for everything you need, to dig food up out of the soil, to stand in a hot kitchen over a fire, hoping you won’t burn a leg of meat.”
I crossed my hands over my chest and glared at her. The life of a servant did not seem ideal and yet, I couldn’t marry him.
“I won’t marry him.” I stamped my foot. “And that’s final.”
The sudden slap made me stumble backward, and I held my burning cheek, tears brimming over.
“You ungrateful child,” she hissed. “You’ll do as you’re told, or else. . .”
Spinning, I dashed to my room and barricaded myself inside, tears streaming down my face at the unfairness of it all. I didn’t ask to be a noblewoman, nor marry a lord. At the thought of his lips on mine, another wave of nausea burned my throat. I had to get out.
When I closed my eyes, a vision filled my sleep. A dark forest loomed, but beside it rose a castle, tall and dark, with sturdy walls, and my cousin with mysterious magic. Magic I wanted no part of and yet, I could go and be exiled with him. All I needed to do was be bold and brave enough to venture out.
When I woke, I gathered a few things and snuck out of the house to the barn. Guilt rode me, but I promised myself that I’d write to my mother as soon as I arrived in Whispering Vine. She’d be furious that I defied her, but if she wanted to continue to live her life as a noblewoman, she would figure out a way.
Chapter Four
“You’re quiet,”Mari said as we walked down the road.
On one side of us loomed the enchanted wildwood, its thick boughs giving away no secrets. On the other side of the road was a cliff, with grass running up to the sharp sides where it dropped away into nothing.
It was the fifth day of our journey and I needed a break from riding. I was in a foul mood. My bottom was sore and other places that a lady should not mention aloud. It was my fault. Mari had warned me I’d overdo it by riding Lotus all day, too many days in a row. But I usually only listened to my own counsel and now I was paying for it.
My slippers weren’t meant for the road and after a few hours my feet would be chaffed, but no matter, I had to take turns giving my bottom or my feet a rest. “I had a nightmare last night,” I told her. The aura of that frightful dream made my body tense as I recalled it.
I stood in the glade of shadows while trees moved, their trunks turning into faces that watched me out of sinister eyes. Stumbling, I fell to my knees, mouth dry as I searched for a way out. In the distance I heard the cawing of a raven, and as I listened, I sensed that instead of mocking me it was calling out in warning. I reached for something to steady myself, but my fingernails sank into soft mud, and then the ground opened beneath me, pulling me down into that endless void.
Mari lay a hand on my arm, startling me. “Why didn’t you wake me?”
Shrugging, I turned away from her pitying gaze, and a flutter of wings caught my eyes. High in the sky I glimpsed a bird with wings as dark as night. It flew toward the closest tree and alighted there. The sound that came out of its mouth made dread whisper through me.Caw. Caw. Caw.Was it a warning?
I flashed her a smile to reassure her I was fine, although I folded my hands together and rubbed my thumbs on the inside of my wrists. “No, you need your rest.” I gave her a pointed look.
Her hand dropped to her belly. “It’s too early to tell, I am hopeful but. . .”
“It will not happen if I keep sharing the wagon with you,” I said.
“Sasha!” Mari exclaimed. “You are too bold.”
“Too honest?” I smirked.
Unable to hold back her shock, Mari dissolved into giggles. “Jorge says the next village is only a day’s ride from here. Tomorrow we’ll relax at an inn.” She winked.
I raised an eyebrow. Peasants seemed to look forward to an inn, but from my previous journey, I’d discovered they weren’t what they seemed. My frustration leaked out before I could stop myself. “An inn? With their hay mattresses, sour ale and day old soup? I just want to get to where I’m going, nothing more, nothing less.”
