Page 48 of Tastes Like Watermelon Moonshine
I give Chrissy a half-smile before taking a seat on one of the logs. I lean into Austin’s warmth. Our shoulders touch, our legs brush. I rest my head on his shoulder and just stare into the fire. Did we overstep the boundaries we set? Are we moving too fast? Can we not be trusted, and always have to have someone around? We were surrounded by people while we were dancing. And I’ve seen worse dancing at school dances than what we did.
My eyes caress Austin’s profile as I mull it all over. These feelings. Am I awakening something I shouldn’t, like the verse in Song of Solomon says?
Chrissy pokes me in my ribs and I jolt upward. She wiggles her brows at me, then her eyes narrow, piercing me. “You okay, you had a…look…”– She uses air quotes as she says the wordlook– “on your face when y’all finished dancing.”
I’m not sure how to answer her question. I’m physically fine. But emotionally? I’m a pile of rope, an unraveled pile of knots. “I... I honestly don’t know.” I whisper to her. It’s something I’ll bring up with my mom, once I’m home. She’ll know what to do, the right things to say.
I shrug my shoulders and give her a melancholy grin. Wrapping my arms around her shoulders I tug her close. I don’t know what I would do without her friendship, her support.
I tug my phone from my pocket to check the time. I’ve still got an hour until I’m supposed to be home. I want a hug from my mom. I want to know that everything will be okay. To be assured that I haven’t gone too far.
I stare into the fire for a few seconds more, watching as a log shifts, sending up a shower of sparks. I want Austin’s and my love to burn that brightly forever. But I don’t want to mess things up, and have our relationship sputter out because we’ve taken things too far. And I know that’s what would likely happen if things go too far. We’d have to tighten up our boundaries, go our separate ways, or get married. But I’m not sure if we’re ready for that step yet.
“I think I’m ready to go home, Chris.” I finally whisper, using that old childhood nickname that she outgrew long ago.
Her eyes search mine. “You afraid you’ll turn back into jeans, plaid, and cowboy boots Raegan if I don’t get you home in time?” Her eyes twinkle as she asks the question.
“I just might. I am tired, but…” I look away. “I want to talk with my mom.”
“Did something happen?” She asks, her voice a low whisper, her brows knit in concern.
“No, nothing happened. I just…” I shake my head. “Some feelings.”
Her hand rubs my back, as if she’s ready for me to spill. But now isn’t the time.
“I’ll tell you about it later, after I’ve talked it over with Mom. If you and Jaimie are okay with it, maybe we could head out?”
“You got it, girl. I’ll go let her know.” She squeezes my arm and gets up to tell Jaimie. I breathe a sigh of relief that she didn’t push the subject.
“You doing okay, Sunshine?” Austin turns those warm green eyes on me, searching me, his hand finding mine and holding it tight.
“I’m tired. It’s been a long day. I wanna talk with my mom.”
He nods. “I’m beat too. Who knew graduating was that tiring?” He laughs and presses a kiss to my cheek. Tingles erupt and race down my spine. “I’m cool with heading home, you have to ride with Jaimie right, since it’s dark out now?”
“Yep, once it’s dark, I’ll turn into a pumpkin if I ride with you.” I joke, trying to lighten the mood. But what I want is to lean in and kiss him. Riding home with him would be too much, especially with the new feelings racing through my body. It would be too easy to make a mistake. I still want to do things right, I can’t awaken love until it’s the right time.
Once Chrissy and Jaimie return, Chrissy hooks her arms over my and Jaimie’s shoulders. I slip an arm around her waist, while my other hand clings to Austin’s hand. We walk in silence, the music and sounds of the celebration fading behind us.
“I need a few quick kisses before you hop in.” Austin whispers as we stop beside Jaimie’s green truck.
“I’ll give you five.” I whisper, powerless to deny him.
“Only five?” He smirks and raises an eyebrow. “I’ll accept five, but you know… If you change your mind and want to give me more...” He winks at me.
If I could I’d give him a million. I’d ignore the little voice in my head. I’d give into him, just like that song said. Start that fire. Dive into the heat.
My eyelids slip closed, and his mouth devours mine. I want nothing else. I want this. Forever. My back pressed into the cold metal of Jaimie’s truck. His hands on my waist. My arm around his neck. Fingers intertwined. I love this man. The length of his body presses against me and I lose track of time.
Has it been five kisses, seven, ten? I don’t know anymore. I pull my lips from his. They ache at the loss of connection. His hands stroke my arms, and my pulse beats a staccato in my ears.
“Raegan.” Chrissy’s voice is filled with authority. I need to find some self control before I let things go too far.
Lifting a shaky hand, I stroke Austin's cheek and give him one final chaste peck. No longer caring about our audience. “I love you.”
His fingers encircle my wrist and his eyes hold mine. Speaking things we can’t find the words for. “I love you too. I’ll call ya later.” He starts to walk away, our arms stretching between us, still connecting us. But his fingers slide away, and I feel so lonely without him. Almost as if I could cry.
I watch him walk away. That long-legged, confident stride. He turns back one last time, and blows me a kiss. I stand mute for a few seconds longer.
