Page 113 of A Crown of Tears and Treason
To prove his point, his fingers dug harder into my backside. We both breathed hard and fast, as if we’d fought the battle of our lives. The icy blue in his eyes slowly devoured the shadows of desire with the cold control of The Dragon.
“We should leave,” he whispered against my lips.
We didn’t move.
He didn’t set me down and I didn’t unwind from him, despite the chill of fear in my veins.
“I liked this,” I whispered back. “But we shouldn’t have done it.”
Because an entire world of desire, hidden from me until now, had opened, flooding my senses. I’d never knownthiswas what I’d been missing for twenty-one long years.
Zandyr carried me back to the safety of the path, never wavering, and not questioning my whimpers as the water rose and sloshed around us. We watched as Madrya led Zorin toward the jungle, the both of them trotting at steady pace, before we delved back through the wall.
Neither of us said anything as we walked back to my house, our steps slow, as if trying to squeeze more time out of this night, even as unspoken questions clung between us.
I knew one thing for certain, though. I wanted to be consumed by that euphoric sensation I’d only felt in Zandyr’s arms once more.
Even as all my instincts screamed at me to run.
Chapter
Thirty-Four
EVIE
Icouldn’t stop touching my lips.
Three days had crawled past since I’d had the first kiss of my life. I didn’t understand how time could pass so slowly and fast at the same time.
Between lessons with Adara, Allie, and Leesa, and daily runs with Zorin in the tranquil grove hidden outside the wall, I fell into bed at night exhausted and proud.
But I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned and cursed my way through the hours. Counting my ribs didn’t help. Whatever concoctions Goose delighted my palate with didn’t so much as induce a nap.
When my mind mercifully shut off, I was plagued by visions of a great big light turning to shadows, blood gushing from cliffs straight into a fire that threatened to consume me.
I woke up more exhausted, with a strange longing sensation that I ignored as much as I could.
I had an inkling where it came from.
Three days and Zandyr and I hadn’t breathed the same air, looked into each other’s eyes, or traded so much as one death joke.
I tried to pretend I wasn’t bothered and focused on more important issues than a simple kiss.
Like the constant threat of the advisors. Guards still stood outside my house day and night, and they seemed to have gotten meaner in the past few weeks.
“Your Grace,” Leesa’s voice lulled me back to the lesson as I stared out the window at the guards flanking my road. There were five more today than a week ago. “The wedding is in a few weeks.”
“I know the ritual.” I flicked my chin at the golden chalice and the rope on top of the table, not diverting my gaze from the guard’s helmets. Had they gotten sharper?
Why would Banu and Valuta bother with me? I hadn’t come here with a vendetta against them, Protectorate or not. As for whatever scraps of power I’d managed to gather since my arrival, they were of no threat to them. That they knew of, at least. Adara and I had gotten adept at staging fights I never won in my courtyard, while we had our real training in the secluded grove.
Perhaps it was a preemptive measure. A Protectorate queen on the Blood Brotherhood throne could become a threat. If they had sworn to protect this Clan and truly believed in the cause, they might turn fanatic. Desperate enough to kill.
Yet I couldn’t escape the feeling that I was missing something. An important detail, floating just at the outskirts of my mind.
The advisors had talked about how many children I could have. Perhaps they were afraid the next heir to the throne would prioritize the Protectorate’s well-being over the Blood Brotherhood’s.
Or maybe they truly thought I was weak. Unfit for the crown.
