Page 110 of A Crown of Tears and Treason
I never thought I’d get to see him again. The stench of smoke from that night invaded my senses.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you,” I whispered.
Zorin stomped the ground, as if trying to tell me to shut up.
I didn’t.
“I am. I didn’t know what else to do,” I went. The tears threatened to spill again. I looked up at the darkening sky, letting the rain wash away my frown. The hurt I had inside would probably never heal. Not fully. But it could diminish. Lessen until it would become nothing more than a lesson I would carry with me like an old scar.
We returned at a steady pace, circling the boulders. By the time we passed the rocks again, Zaryn had dismounted. He had his arms crossed in front of his chest, the rain making him look even more sleek and lethal.
“I won,” I said as I hopped off Zorin. He had a proud sway to him now, flicking his tail toward Madrya. “Should have placed a bet while we were at it.”
“You have a death wish,” Zaryn grumbled.
“I knew I’d make the jump.”
“That doesn’t mean it wasn’t dangerous.”
“Let it.” I faced him, feeling stronger than ever. “Let it seem risky and insane and let me decide if it’s worth it. I’ve been caged in apparent safety all my life. I’m not the Evie you twirled around the tree. I’m not even the same Evie who stepped foot in Phoenix Peak.”
“I know.” Zandyr came closer, until the drops of rain that ricocheted off my face landed on his shirt. “I want you to spread your wings as far as you want.”
“Thank you,” I said to him, finally. I didn’t even hesitate.
“I will watch you soar and I will be there waiting when you want to land.” With every word he spoke, I tuned out the world. All that mattered now was this moment between us, filledwith possibilities and promises that made my traitorous heart tremble. “I worry. It’s who I am. I will always carry the weight of others’ safety on my shoulders. I have seen and done enough to know how unkind this world is. And I will not let it be unkind to you. Not anymore.”
I wanted to hope. Gods above, every part of this frail body of mine, every scared and scattered thought, every trembling emotion, they all wanted to believe.
“We will marry,” he went on. “I want to lay my head down at night knowing you can count on me.”
“I want the same thing. I know you want to save everyone. I promise I won’t be a dot or a scale you’ll have to carry on your dragon tattoo. I will be your queen. You will be my king. We will share the responsibility.”
“We will. I want–” His palms rose next to my head, as if wanting to touch me. His fingers shook from the strain of holding back. “I want things I shouldn’t. Not right now.”
My heart thumped. Waiting. Anticipating.
“I want…” Things I didn’t even know how to voice. All I knew was that heat crawled up my neck, down my spine, settling in my belly. I stood in the rain, looking up at my former enemy.
The fire inside me told me to lean into him.
He was so beautiful. His face was tense, cheekbones turning more angular. This was a dangerous man. A tempting, formidable man.
His lips were too perfect. His jaw too sharp. Too beautiful and powerful for me. And yet, on this night when everything felt possible, my body ached with the need to touch him.
I closed my eyes to keep him from seeing my blatant desire.
Too raw, too vulnerable. Toodangerous.
Let me decide if it’s worth it, my own words haunted me.
Was it worth it? This moment of insanity? We were alone, fire raged through me, and I wanted to do something reckless. Push the limits.
See how far I could play with fire before getting burned.
Was it worth it?
To feel alive in his arms. For one breath. One touch.
