Page 199 of A Crown of Tears and Treason
Under Leesa’s terrified eyes, with her cries echoing all around me, I tore and sliced at my dress, not caring when the blade nicked my skin. I couldn’t let myself feel or I’d drown.
Once the dress was a mess of jagged ribbons at my feet and Leesa gathered the waste in her arms and left, sniffling all the way down the stairs, once the door was closed shut, and nobody and nothing could witness, I finally let my body fall to the ground.
Only then did I let myself cry.
I cried until my throat bled and my back hurt from the sobs.
Until I couldn’t see anymore and my eyes throbbed. Finally, mercifully, exhausted beyond coherent thought, I couldn’t feel.
But I knew, even as I crawled into bed, yanking off the flowers in a rain of petals that mocked me and my hopes, that my blood sang a harsher, deeper tune than the melody it had for Zandyr.
My blood sang for revenge.
Chapter
Sixty-Four
ZANDYR
“She tore her dress.”
Even as I said it, I couldn’t believe it. The mound of golden ribbons laid on the table like a sacrifice. Leesa had brought the scraps, looking at me with so much hatred in her eyes, I swore her gaze cursed me.
“To be fair, she shredded it,” Soryn’s voice echoed from behind.
“It’s good,” Calyx ventured. “Hate is still an emotion.”
I braced my hands on either side of the table. My fingers dug into the wood, ready to tear it apart. That one word echoed in my mind, over and over again.Hate. “Stop cheering me up.”
“I hate to always be put in the position to agree with Calyx,” Elysia ventured, perched on top of my cabinet like a cat. “But he’s right. The opposite of love is indifference. At least she did something instead of shattering.”
“Zandyr is right,” Ryker interjected. “At this rate, you’ll cheer him into an early grave.”
I couldn’t die yet.
Not until I saw the life dim from Banu and Valuta’s eyes, and whoever else threatened Evie.MyEvie. The one being my blood sang for.
“You know who was right all along?” I let out a mirthless laugh. “You and Adara. You all warned me. Told me Evie wasn’t raised Clan and wouldn’t see past the machinations.”
At the wedding, once she stepped toward me, I’d stupidly thought it meant she understood. That she was in on the plan. That her beautiful, brilliant mind had pieced together the words neither I nor Kaya could say without losing our lives.
I’d been wrong.
After the wedding, Adara’s stoic gaze had been a constant, silent reminder of my failure to listen. Even Goose had looked ready to throttle me.
I’d chosen Evie’s companions well, all of them courageous in their own ways. But Evie had made them loyal to her.
I took a swig of the amber liquid Soryn had poured for me. Bitter and stinging, to match my mood.
“What’s done is done,” Elysia announced. “The only way is forward. You’ll make amends and–”
Ryker laughed darkly in the corner. “It’s obvious that aside from me and Zandyr, none of you have truly interacted with your Protectorate betrotheds.”
Elysia sniffed. “I see no reason to hurry. He’s in no rush either, holed up in one of his depraved palaces.”
“She stays in her room,” Calyx grumbled. “Hoarding all the books.”
“I interacted plenty with Clara during our Academy days,” Soryn said. “I’m good for the foreseeable future.”
