Page 104 of A Dagger of Ice and Intrigue
Nineteen
ALLIE
“You need to eat, dear, not just stir the spoon.” Mrs. Thornbrew’s concerned eyes lingered on the veins that stuck out harshly against my paling skin before widening on the utensil that circled the bowl of venison stew slowly.
It seemed to move by itself, but my insides were actually clenching and depleting to keep it circling with my power.
Since that horrible night, I’d been stretching the pitiful sparks of magic at my disposal in the most mundane ways.
I used to call on the winds to raise roofs and clear out entire wheat fields.
Now I stirred stew, opened windows, and yanked my chair closer to the table.
But it wassomething.
And it helped pass the time cooped up in my fortress room, simmering in a sea of hollowness.
“It’s faster than yesterday. It’s very strange, but better,” Mrs. Thornbrew said encouragingly. “By the way, the sweets shop sent over some of that honey, too.”
The mere mention of honey sent a fresh wave of nausea through me, snapping me back to that barnyard smell and the terror of the voices. The spoon plopped down inelegantly and sent drops of stew onto the table.
I sighed and leaned forward in my chair, wiping the table down quickly, before Mrs. Thornbrew had a chance to fuss over me more. It made me feel uncomfortable–I wasn’t some helpless babe.
Though I sure felt like it. Even the barest brush of my power sapped too much out of me. Neither I, nor my magic had ever been greedy.
“Thank you,” I said. “And thank the shop owner for me, please.”
I’d used her as a distraction as much as I’d used the courier.
“Mrs. Mallowmere said you can come into her shop any time, you don’t need such an elaborate distraction next time.”
In the last week, I was only sure of one thing–everyone and their tall mother in this crater knew how I’d gotten out of the city. I didn’t know how the locals felt about it, though. I didn’t know if I should care.
I hadn’t hurt anyone.
Except myself.
I forced the same lukewarm half-smile on my face I’d used when I’d finally talked to Evie through the palaver portal.
She was marrying The Dragon, she had enough problems without knowing her cousin was crumbling.
I’d put on the brave face of The Huntress and used the dregs of power I had to cast a protective spell on her. I doubted any Protectorate member could infiltrate the Blood Brotherhood Capital and get to her, but I wanted to be safe.
“As sure as the sun rises in the East, the wind and sky shall hear my words and heed them,” I’d chanted, my power burning bright in swirling and swerving patterns of blue. “I call upon the entire world, from the mountains to the ocean, to charge this spell and give what they can to carry it to her. May Evie’s body and mind be protected and her own to control.”
Those little words had taken more of me than they should have.
But that’s not why I’d secluded myself in this borrowed room, wearing the same borrowed clothes, and forcing myself to endure Mrs. Thornbrew’s obvious pity.
My soul had taken too much of a beating.
The massacre, my father’s death, Silas on my throne, betrayal by one of my closest allies, Orion slashing his own throat in front of me.
Too much too soon.
Everyone had a limit and I’d reached mine, it seemed.
I saw no point in anything.
