Page 114 of A Dagger of Ice and Intrigue
The Gods had a strange sense of humor, because this could not be justice.
I sagged back against the velvety chair cushions and stared down at the frankly insulting marriage contract the Clan Council had sent over, filled with stupid, condescending clauses.
“The fact that the magistrates felt it was important to include a rule against killing each other–through any means, be it direct, indirect, compensated, accidental, culinary or conveniently untraceable, including but not exclusive to paid assassination, poisoning with known dangerous foods, and accidents, witnessed, staged, or occurring under suspicious moonlight–is proof enough this whole marriage thing is utterly deranged,” I said.
The Commander rested his cheek on his fist and chuckled. The sound sounded too comforting. Like it could shatter the ice wall caging me. “You missed theamorous maimingclause.”
Gods.
My cheeks had burned just reading it, but hearing the words drip from the Commander’s lips sent trembles racing down my spine.
Despite the lingering fatigue, my traitorous body remembered the rush of relief when he’d appeared and freed me from Orion’s grasp and the warmth as his arms circled me and brought me back to safety.
But my mind still held onto that lone word.
Harmless.
Was that truly how he saw me? Someone to coddle, not to fear or respect?
“Don’t worry, we’re not going to fuck each other to death,” I deadpanned.
His jaw ticked as he unfurled his fingers and clenched them again in a perfectly controlled gesture, his gaze sparking at me.
“You’re in a mood,” was the only thing he said.
“Why aren’t you?” I shook the contract in my hand. “This is ridiculous.”
“It’s also unavoidable. I won’t scream at the sky hoping it would split in three just because I want it to,” he said. “I have other problems which I can control the outcome of and I choose to focus on them.”
Yes, because he still had a city to rule.
I had…nothing.
The clothes on my back, shelter, and food were given by the enemy Clan, my power was still fickle, my body was playing tricks on me, and my mind was tired. So tired.
For the first time in my life, I didn’t even have a goal.
I was simply existing. Drifting from one day to the next, keeping myself busy with my small sparks of power, and hovering somewhere between suffering and numbness.
“Any clause you don’t like?” he asked when the silence turned suffocating. “Soryn said the Clan Council expects a bit of pushback on the minor ones.”
“The heir clause,” I said quickly. “The parties, being of sound mind and presumed magical ability, consent to thepropagation and raising of a minimum of one heir within a maximum of two years. Impossible.”
He furrowed his brows. “Why?”
“Because the mere thought of bringing a child into this mess makes me wretch. If they tried to killme, what would they do to a defenseless babe carrying my blood?”
It was a thought too gruesome to bear. I would rather have died at Orion’s hand than risk a child–mychild–to be in any danger.
I could barely stand. I was in no state to care for another life right now. There was a chance I never would be.
The world had proven itself to be too wicked for me to even entertain the idea.
“So it’s not because you don’t want children in this life,” he said slowly.
“I–” I felt the weight of the implied question and his stare on me. I shifted in my seat. “I don’t know. Not right now.”
Rejecting the idea of an heir as a Clan ruler had never been an option. My father had kept my old childhood books to read to his inevitable grandchildren.
