Page 121 of A Dagger of Ice and Intrigue
The Commander sighed.
“This all sounds good. Well, not good, but…” I gestured wildly at the table and the contracts, as if trying to grasp words out of thin air. “Acceptable. Can’t fight the Clan Council, can we?”
“Huntress–”
“I have to go.” I ran a hand through my hair once more, unsure of what to do or what to say.
So I raced out of the room before I embarrassed myself further–and he let me.
Only when I’d rushed up the stairs, burst into my room, closed the door behind me, and leaned my back against it did I allow myself to hide my face in my hands, as if that could magically make me vanish from what had just happened.
But reality didn’t work that way.
Because the truth was I’d kissed my enemy and now I had to live with that.
Chapter
Twenty-Three
ALLIE
“Plant your feet.” I stood shoulder to shoulder to Geryll–well, my shoulder to his upper arm; they raised them tall in the crater. “The ground will never steady for you, you steady for it.”
Geryll gulped, but did as instructed, spreading his legs in one swift movement that spoke of precise military training.
He looked like a warrior, but the training bow shook in his hands. It snowed as calmly as ever and the constant wind hadn’t taken a break today, but I knew the trembles weren’t from the cold.
“Good,” I said, softening my voice.
After the whole negotiation debacle, which had been anything but a cool, calm discussion, my entire being had been ignited with a new worry. A different kind of fretting, one which I’d never endured, threatened to consume me.
After so many losses, the greatest of my life, I’d managed to make a fool of myself in front of the Commander–and I’d fucking enjoyed it.
I’d been so distraught and unfocused, I barely remembered the conversation I had with Evie. Something about cutpurses and flickering fires.
Godsdamn him and me, kissing him had felt good.
But that moment of weakness would now bring a world of embarrassment, probably for the rest of my life.
I was supposed to marry my enemy–former enemy?–through a shoddy decree.
What in the underworld was I doing kissing him? Andlikingit?
Worse still…what if I’d only kissed him because I needed someone to hold me up as the world around me crumbled?
The desire still bubbling in me didn’t agree.
One thing was sure–I had no clue how I could ever face him again and look him in the eye with that memory seared into me.
Then, like a coward, I’d ran, too ashamed to sit in the discomfort–and I had no clue how to solve the issue. Did I even want to solve it?
Maybe this way, we could have just avoided each other for the rest of our lives out of sheer mortification. That would make the whole not-doing-stupid-things-around-him problem go away fast.
I’d been piercing the target with my borrowed arrows, as if I could diminish my anguish with each thump, when Geryll and Nadya had broken the stillness in the clearing. They’d marched up to me, her with that mean ax, him with a training bow and a hesitant smile.
“The Commander thinks it would be good for me to learn archery,” he’d mumbled at me. Thankfully, he’d kept his gaze on the ground, so he hadn’t noticed the way I flinched at the meremention of my inevitable future husband. But Nadya had seen and raised her brows; mercifully, she remained silent, for once. “Would you–would you teach me?”
I’d opened my mouth, ready to say no. I wasin a moodthat definitely wasn’t suited for teaching.
