Page 145 of A Dagger of Ice and Intrigue
Perhaps it was a Vegheara curse.
“Plus,” I said, my own voice turning cold and unforgiving. “Silas’ life is mine to take.”
For my father.
For my family.
For the Clan that didn’t want me anymore.
Most of all, for myself.
I didn’t know if I could do it, but I wanted the chance to try.
Dax nodded gravely, as if we’d just made a blood oath. “Very well. He is yours.”
He finally lowered his hand, placing the dagger on the table.
“To protect is to endure,” I whispered.
“To protect is to endure,” he echoed and ran a hand over his hair.
“Did you–did you see my father’s funeral?” I forced myself to ask.
Dax’s expression softened instantly, but he shook his head. “I’ve only focused on marking and testing entry and exit points, Silas’ schedule, number of guards, the usual. I only go in at night and leave as quickly as possible. To be honest, I’ve only focusedon the castle, I haven’t even gotten near the town square. I only take calculated risks, Allie. I’m staying safe, I promise.”
I’d told myself I already knew Dax was cautious, that he was the best at what he did in all of Malhaven, that he hadn’t been discovered so far and never would, hearing him say the words soothed me.
“I’ll get you those parchments.” The wicked smirk returned on his face with a vengeance. “And I’m going to love hearing Silas’ roar when he realizes what happened.”
After mapping out the essentials, one loud argument about the proper way to make guards faint–Dax preferred a sleeping drought, I went for that soft point on the jugular–and a farewell that devolved into me laughing hard enough that I had to catch myself from falling out of the chair, Dax and I closed the portal.
I splayed my hands onto his book and drew on that fickle well of power in me.
“May the sand and sea of Aquila hear my plea,” I chanted, power coursing from my chest onto my hands, and burning me in its wake. “As every Vegheara has given their blood to protect you, now protect Dax from harm for me.”
The soft breeze from the window turned into a gale of wind as my power thrashed through me, a wild, untamable thing. Before, it could be controlled, like an ancient, tranquil river.
It sucked too much of my energy, but it worked.
I gave Dax’s book one last loving pat before pushing it forward, in the middle of the line I’d designated for all my cousins’ palavers.
But the wind didn’t cease. It kept tangling in my hair, as if it wanted to draw my attention.
Beckoning me.
Finally, I listened and looked outside–at the city I’d scouted so thoroughly before, but hadn’t bothered with since coming back.
The one I’d used for my own selfish means and hadn’t truly learned anything meaningful about.
The thought of walking in those streets when everyone knew what I’d done–and with those damn hounds sniffing in the market–had halted me until now.
But just like I now had a purpose, I also needed to have remorse and strength to face what I had done to these strangers.
If I would live here, I couldn’t hole myself up in the fortress for all eternity.
I had to face my mistakes–and their consequences.
With a trembling heart, I stood and left the room to return to the scene of my crime.
