Page 194 of A Dagger of Ice and Intrigue
But that was a bad idea.
The worst.
We were still treading through unknown and murky waters of this new…alliance? It definitely wasn’t a relationship.
My soul, which hadn’t fully healed after Waden, was still tender after all the betrayal I had to endure. All the changes.
I couldn’t open it to anyone else right now. Not even Ryker.
But my body didn’t care–and I didn’t want to care, either.
The air sucked out of the room as Ryker’s hands slid from my shoulders down to my waist, the silk caressing my body under his control.
“I knew you’d like it,” he said, voice molten hunger.
“You chose it?” I asked, surprised.
I’d been so concerned all these clothes weren’t mine that I hadn’t given a thought to how they’d gotten into my room.
“Only the best silks for The Huntress.” He pinched and stroked the green fabric reverently. “I didn’t want you to think you’re marrying into a family of paupers.”
My breath stuttered. Even before we’d exchanged a single word, he’d wanted to make me feel comfortable. Maybe even impress me. My rooms had been tailored to my Protectorate proclivities and that must have taken time. The clothes had been chosen to shield me against the elements my body hadn’t been accustomed to.
All done so that I could adjust easier to my new life.
I hadn’t asked–he’d offered.
Because that’s who Ryker was. Someone who thought about everyone else before himself.
The same thing I’d been raised to do. Constantly.
Now here he was, this man who wanted to do that for me.
It…terrified me, how much I wanted to rely on him.
How much my soul wanted to exhale, for what felt like the first time in my life.
“I’m scared,” I said, surprising myself and him.
He froze instantly. “Of?”
“You.”
His hands snapped back to his side. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable–”
“No.” I mustered up that Huntress courage and stepped so close to him, our chests touched when we breathed. Just like back in the crypt, when he’d stolen my air and my logic. But my eyes fell somewhere near his clavicle; I couldn’t look him in the eyes right now. “You make me want things I shouldn’t.”
I stood there, completely exposed. Not by the silk slip, or the late night, but my own doing.
I just had to open my mouth, spill my fears, and ruin the moment.
I didn’t know what I expected–perhaps reassurance, maybe a confession that I scared him as much as he scared me, so that I’d feel we were on equal footing once more–but it hadn’t been this stunned silence.
The longer he stared at me, not saying a single thing, the more I felt completely stripped of all my defenses. My skin suddenly felt too hot, like it didn’t belong on my body, and my heart began to beat a frantic rhythm.
I’d made a fool of myself, hadn’t I?
I always seemed to do it when it came to men.
