Page 77 of Brandishing Balance
Johnny sighed heavily and rubbed his bearded jaw with his knuckles. “Either way, they could have told you to fuck off. Her safety should have been the most important thing. The club could have waited a couple hours.” He held up a hand before I could open my mouth. “Your sub’s safety is the only thing that should have mattered that morning. As a Dom, she was your responsibility. If you couldn’t give her the care that she deserved andneeded, then you have no place being a fucking Dom, you hear me?”
I nodded, tears sliding down my face.
“You can’t do anything like that ever again. I would just take all punishment scenes out of your dynamic completely if you guys ever go down that road again.”
Again, I nodded. Dropping my head, I rest my elbows on my knees and stare at the floor as tears silently slid down my face. “Yeah.”
“Look man, we’re human. We all fuck up from time to time. You can’t let it eat you up too much.” I looked up to meet his gaze as he continued speaking. “You gotta learn from it, though. Marcos man, you can’t ever fuck up that badly again.” Johnny shook his head. “Have you ever been to Sinister?”
I shook my head. “Never heard of it. What is it?”
Johnny gaped at me, looking surprised. “Dude, we need to educate you. Sinister Desires. It’s owned by the Seratellis—it’s a sex club or BDSM dungeon. Whatever you want to call it.”
“What the fuck?”
“Yeah, how did you not know about this? I thought Nico was a Seratelli by blood?”
I shrugged. “He’s been estranged from the family for a while.”
“Either way dude. I suggest you go and take some classes on aftercare and etiquette. It’s clear you need some retraining in the ways of being a Dom.”
“Yeah.” I pulled out my phone and immediately looked up the club. It looked sexy as fuck and it was right in The Edges. No wonder I never paid it any attention.
“Go home, Marcos. Talk to Maya. She needs you right now.”
I nod and stand up. “Yeah.” I turn to face Johnny. “Thank you…for everything.”
Johnny gives me a wry grin. “Go read Dad’s journal while you’re at it. You might find something useful in there.”
Jason
Layinginmybed,my head is a mess. All I can think about is Maya almost dying and it being my fault. Our fault, but mine too. We fucked up back then. I didn’t even feel comfortable calling myself a Dom anymore. How could I hold that title when the number one responsibility of a Dom is to ensure their Sub’s safety? I clearly couldn’t do that right.
Nico was right all these years. He should have safe-worded. We both should have told Marcos enough was enough that night and one of us should have stayed with her in the morning.My mind raced as I heard Marcos’s Harley race away from the house.
Maya’s sobbing in the living room killed me. My dumbass had to run away. I couldn’t fucking face her. I was a fucking coward.
I couldn’t do it. Not like this.
I sat up abruptly and raced downstairs. I fell to my knees in front of her, still on Nico’s lap and buried my face into her lap. “I’m so sorry, Darlin’. So fucking sorry. I know it doesn’t change a damn thing.”
I felt her fingers slide through my hair to my nape and she pulled me up toward her. I looked up at her tearful face before she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me against her. Nico grunted as I pushed her into him, as I hugged her tight.
She pushed me away after her sobs subsided and stood up. I watched her walk over to the kitchen and get herself a bottle of water from the fridge, while I took a seat next to Nico on the couch. “Now what?” I asked.
Nico shrugged. “We’re not done talking…we still need to dissect that night, but not without Marcos.”
“Any idea where he went?” Maya asked, walking back into the living room. She’s not shy and squeezed between Nico and me on the couch. She snuggled in, getting comfortable before she looked around for the remote.
I grabbed it off the coffee table and hand it to her. She smiled in thanks and turned on the TV.
We sat there for half an hour, watching whatever she put on. I was mostly lost in my head, though, not paying attention.
When we heard a Harley come up the driveway, the three of us immediately turned to see Marcos ride past the picture window, to the garage. Maya slumped back on the couch. I hadn’t realized how tense she’d been until she finally relaxed.
“Did you want to keep talking?” I asked her.
She looked up at me, her beautiful amber eyes earnest and slightly puffy from all the crying. “I think we need to. When else would we get the time without Luke around? I don’t want him to see us all breaking down…and honestly, I think we all need this.”
