Page 105 of Keep Your Guard Up
We beelined for the man whose nose was now beginning to flush red.
He stepped forward, standing about half a foot taller than me. Neither man said anything, until the former fumbled for his dark-washed jeans pocket. He stretched his arm down, digging deep into his pocket. A brief flicker of triumph on his weary face, and he pulled out a note. Folded, crumpled and lint strings attached, he handed it immediately to Chance. I didn’t dare look at what was on it, not with how still the teary-eyed man had gone. That familiar wave of tension flung off Chance’s alreadyrigid stature before he neatly refolded the note and tucked it into a pocket of his own.
“I believe you,” he told the man.
And that was the beginning of it all.
Chapter 58
Mari
Chance listenedto every single person who showed up at Knock’s. The words ‘I believe you’ were spoken too many times to count, both given and received. This time, I didn’t feel that pang of jealousy when hundreds of women hugged him, cried on him, sought comfort in him and that beautiful heart he had. How could I when he introduced me to each and every one of them as ‘the sunny day at the end of the dark tunnel’? Even after hearing it on repeat for hours, my heartbeat still flicked over into double time whenever he said it.
Gradually, we moved together down the driveway and out onto the road that was still closed. Some of the regulars from Rock-It’s had pulled the old barbecue out and were currentlygetting snags and bread lined up for anyone around. Rocco and his new squeeze, who’s pink hair matched the bright leather jacket she wore, laid out a few esky’s filled with beer and mixed cans. Noodles, Danny, and some of the Lozza’s boys had strapped some old speakers in the tray of Lozza’s delivery ute. Two of the blokes had sat in the back, holding them all down. The oldies from Nan’s gossip group had shown up with dozens of packets of glowsticks. The few children that were around loved it and took it upon themselves to make sure each adult had a glowstick around their wrist as the sun started to set.
I smiled as it all unfold.
Because this is what Soggla did—they turned shitty circumstances into a party. A party filled with love, support, and peace. Fights were never started at big community events, despite having such a high-quality martial arts gym in town. New friendships were forged, memories were made, and looming shadows faded for the time being. The glowstick-clad children ran around, oblivious to the sorrowful circumstances as to which everyone had come to meet under today. The locals hugged anyone who needed it and cracked open a cold one for the others.
“How you doin’, darlin’?” Al asked, bumping up beside me.
“I don’t think I’m the one you should be asking that.”
“Where is the big fella anyways?”
“Not sure. He went to get us something to drink about twenty minutes ago. Figured he probably just wants some time out for a minute. It’s been a very big, very emotional afternoon for everyone,” I replied, blowing a raspberry through my lips. “Where’s Nan?”
“She’s off setting up a cards tables down near Wally’s house on the corner there. Some of the oldies are putting together some games. Look.” He pointed over my shoulder to the faded yellowhouse on the corner block. “They’ve already got a line up waiting. They’re betting with Louisa’s biccies, I hear.”
“Those biccies are worth more than money can buy,” I replied.
“I don’t want to step on your toes, darlin’. But I think after the day, week, year that he’s had. I don’t think he would mind a bit of familiar company.”
“I better go find him.” I gave Al a small smile and walked off.
~
I’d checked just about everywhere before I spotted him. Sitting halfway down the hill that Knock’s was on, his hands braced behind him while he stretched his legs out in front. His black shirt blended into the night around him. The only way I’d spotted him was from the green and blue glowsticks on his wrist.
I didn’t say anything when I dropped down next to him. We sat in that comfortable, peaceful silence for a few minutes, the music blaring in the background, laughter and sounds of joy off in the distance. But Chance and I? We sat in our bubble. I took his glowsticks off, as well as my own, and tucked them under a particularly long tuft of grass.
I ran a hand over his buzzed hair, now long enough that the ends didn’t prickle my skin. With a gentle tug on his neck, he lay his head to rest on my lap.
“I don’t want to feel like this anymore, Sunny.” He sighed, and my heart cracked.
“Feel like what?”
“Wounded,” he replied. “She’s not worth anything more than the dirt our asses are currently on. But it’s like there’s a constant spotlight on this part of me she broke. No matter how much I achieve, how far I work up the ranks. No matter how far I go, no matter what I do, Sunny—it’s always there.”
“It’s okay to feel hurt, Chance,” I said softly.
“But I don’t want to feel hurt for her.”
“Then feel hurt for you. Not for her, or me, or anyone else. Just you. Feel hurt for the young man she sucker punched. For the man who has too kind of a heart to ever think about swinging back. Feel hurt for the man whose love of himself and hislifewas taken, Chance. It’s okay to feel it but feel it for you.”
And so he did. Drops of water slipped onto my thighs, one after the other. I didn’t count, didn’t keep track of time. I sat still, running one hand over his hair and the other one squeezing that pattern over and over.
I. Love. You.
