Page 81 of Keep Your Guard Up
“But only if you go and hear him out first,” she interrupted.
I shook my head with a huff and stood. “Then I guess he’ll freeze out there each morning until the sun comes up,” I said, picking up my laptop and half-full coffee mug and retreating back to my room.
~
“I need to go into the gym,” I told Nan as I pulled a light jacket over my shoulders. The sun was already starting to set, even though it was only four in the afternoon. Winter was well and truly on its way in.
I didn’t care. I already felt cold, having that warm feeling of love traded for an icy stab to the ribs.
“I thought you’d told them you were working from home?” she questioned as a knock at the door sounded. She stared at me for a moment longer before standing from the table, another empty coffee mug in hand, and padded over to the sink.
I rolled my eyes, even though a tiny, traitorous part of my heart warmed at the facthewas still here—still coming to knock on my door.
“I’ve left some invoices in my office. Can you go and get rid of the pest on our front yard?”
“Have you heard him out?”
“N—”
“Then no.” She shuffled off to go and answer the door.
I was already dialling JJ’s number when the voice of the man himself trailed through from the front door. It was quickly followed by Nan gushing about him coming over to visit, how healthy he was looking, how she would have to bake for him again if he kept getting thinner. The things she always said when he knocked on our front door—which happened to be nearly every day.
“I think I’m wasting away over here, Nana Marilyn. Do you reckon’ you could make some cookies for me? I think that would really help.”
“Of course, dear. You go turn on the oven. I’ll be back in just a moment.”
The door shut and JJ happily pranced down the hallway into the kitchen.
“Gah!” he squealed when he saw me standing over the kitchen table, arms folded. “Jesus, Lynnie. Way to be creepy.”
The sound of little footsteps clattered together as Gus leapt off the window seat and trottingoutthe door with Nan.
Traitors, all of them.
“Speaking of creepy—want to be a real pal and go get that lying assface off of my front lawn?” I scowled, barely able to call him an assface because even though he’d colossally fucked up, broken my trust and my heart, not even God himself could deny how gorgeous that man was.
“No can do, Lynnie. Been trying to convince him to move for three days now and come exorcise the demon out of my house,” he replied, pulling countless ingredients out of the pantry that were definitelynotused for baking biccies.
“Stop it. You’re making a bloody mess,” I snapped.
He held his hands up in surrender and took a seat at the table across from me, snatching up a green apple from the fruit bowl.
“How you goin’, Lynnie?” he asked.
“Fine.”
“You don’t sound fine.”
“Well, I am. The universe did me a real solid a few days ago—took out some trash for me.”
Between my eyebrows ached from the permanent scowl that I’d worn for the last few days. Sleep had turned into a luxury I didn’t deem necessary, since every time I closed my eyes I dreamt of the man out on my lawn. Reliving the memories of a blissful ignorance as to who he really was was a kind of torture I couldn’t take.My heartcouldn’t take it.
“Lynnie.” JJ reached a hand across the table and squeezed mine. “I want you to know that I’m well aware that you’re lying to me right now, but I’m not going to push you. I’ll be here when you’re ready.”
I stared at JJ for a long moment, the words creeping up my throat. But then my throat thickened, and the unworthy tears found my eyes.
I blinked and shook my head. “Then you’ll be waiting a long while, J.”
