Page 85 of Keep Your Guard Up
He ended up taking my huge pile of paperwork and my work laptop over to his bag and zipping it up.
“The passkey is—”
“120118,” he interrupted. “I know.” He gave me a sympathetic smile, knowing that the 12th of January 2018 was the day Chance had arrived. My cheeks burned in shame.
I’d trusted him.
And he’d lied to me.
Just likehehad.
“He hurt me, J,” I whispered, so quiet I wasn’t sure he even heard it.
“Lynnie—” he started.
“I should have known better than to trust a fighter.”
“What do you mean?”
“They all hurt. Every time. It’s what they do,” I said, numb to the very bone.
“Who?” He dropped down beside me once more, giving me his full attention.
“The fighters I love.”
“Come on now, that’s not true,” he tried.
“Jayden, my dad, Chance—”
“Your dad?” he interrupted. “What did Eli do?”
“Of course this is when my deep-rooted daddy issues come out,” I joked.
JJ, for once, didn’t find it funny. “What did he do, Lynnie?” His voice dropped to a silent, serious plea.
“He lied to me,” I mumbled, finding my now-fidgeting fingers very interesting.
“About?”
“He told me he wouldn’t leave me,” I murmured, low and quiet enough that it concealed the thickness of my voice. “When Mum died, he promised he’d never leave me.”
“Oh, Lynnie—”
“It’s stupid and selfish and childish—I know. But, between him and Jayden and Chance, I just …”
“Look at me,” he requested. “Chance is nothing like your dad. Eli lied to protect a little girl’s heart from the inevitables of life. But Chance—”
“I don’t want to hear excuses,” I snapped, voice thick and hoarse. “He’s married. That may not mean much tosomepeople, apparently. But it does to me.”
~
I was in the bathroom, splashing literal litres of cold water on my face, when I heard JJ’s phone ring.
“Yeah, man, she’s with me,” he said with a long sigh. “Yeah, she’s a fucking demon. I swear I see Nanna’s old cross rattle whenever she enters the house.”
I splashed another handful of cold water on my face, willing the puff-packs below my eyes to deflate already.
“I know … I know … I know, man. But you should have told her. I can’t force her to do anything—Iwon’tforce her to do anything.” There was an edge to JJ’s voice that I had never heard before. In all of the years I’d known him, he had never taken quite that tone. “I’ll call you later. I’m driving Lynnie home.”
