Page 129 of Ruthless Creatures
Sounding uncharacteristically glum, she says, “I am. I’m missing that essential part that makes people fall in love. I’m the only girl I’ve ever heard of who rolls her eyes at love songs and hates it when guys get attached and would rather attend a funeral than a wedding.”
“It’s true, you’re basically a dude. But you’re still not defective. I’m telling you, you just haven’t met the right one yet.”
Sloane levels me with a look. “AndI’mtellingyou,I can’t fall in love.”
“You’re exaggerating.”
“I’m not exaggerating. I’m literally incapable. My brain doesn’t work that way. It’s like how you are with math. Quick, answer this: What’s nine times twelve?”
After a moment of severe mental strain, I say, “Fine, so you can’t fall in love.”
“You see? How depressing is that?”
“At least you can double a recipe. The last time I made banana muffins, I had to call my mom to figure out how to double two-thirds of a cup of flour.”
We share a companionable, depressed silence for a moment, then Sloane brightens. “I know what we need right now!”
“If you say ‘dick,’ I won’t be responsible for my actions.”
She ignores me. “Pizza. Nobody can be sad when they’re gorging on a cheesy, meaty pizza pie.”
“That does sound pretty good.”
Examining my gloomy expression, she lifts her brows. “Gee, don’t get too excited. Now who’s the emo clown?”
“I was just thinking… what if we end up as two crabby, single old ladies, living together when we’re eighty, fighting over the TV remote and shouting at the neighbor kids to stay off the lawn? What if this whole love thing wasn’t meant to work out for either one of us, and in the end…we’reeach other’s loves of our lives?”
She smiles warmly at me. “We are. But don’t worry, you’re gonna ride off into the sunset with Mafia Romeo. That will happen even if I have to threaten him with death myself.”
Of all the times Kage has probably faced the prospect of dying, I have no doubt my best friend would be the scariest.
Getting choked up, I say, “I’m so glad you’re back.”
Rising from the table, she heads to the drawer by the stove where I keep the takeout menus. “Me, too. But you might change your mind when I order kale on this pizza.”
“That’s disgusting.”
“With a cauliflower crust.”
“What a bait and switch! That’s ruining the whole point of pizza. Why not just have a salad, for god’s sake?”
“Because I had a salad for lunch.”
“Of course you did. Your addiction to vegetables is out of control.”
With the menu in one hand, she pulls her cell phone from the pocket of her coat with the other. “Having your parents call you ‘Chunky Monkey’ your entire childhood leaves scars, sis. Still dealing with the fallout.”
I stand and hug her from behind, resting my head on her shoulder as she orders the kale and cauliflower pizza.
I know it’ll be awful.
I’ll eat it anyway.
Kage isn’t the only one I’m a ride or die for.
A pang of heartache has me missing him so much it leaves me breathless. As Sloane reads her credit card number to the pizza place, I slip my phone out of my pocket and send Kage a text.
Then I finish my glass of wine and pour another, trying not to think about what he might be doing right now.
