Page 110 of Ruthless Creatures
My pulse thrumming along my nerve endings, I withdraw the object and hold it up. Then I stare at it with wide eyes, parted lips, and a profound sense of shock.
Kage takes the ring from me and slips it onto the third finger of my trembling left hand.
He murmurs, “It’s a Russian love knot. The three interlocking rings signify different aspects of devotion. White gold is soft. It molds to the hand, the way love molds two people together. Yellow gold is hard, the way true love is hard against anything that tries to break it. And rose gold is rare.” He looks deep into my eyes. “Like what we have between us.”
When I burst into tears, he looks mortified. “Oh, shit. You hate it.”
I collapse against his chest and pound a fist weakly on his shoulder. I hope it’s his good one, but I’m too emotional to care.
He says gruffly, “I’m sorry. I’ll return it. It’s too soon.”
I speak through sobs. “Will you shut up? I’mhappy!”
“Oh.” He pauses, then chuckles. “I’d hate to see you when you’re sad.”
I cry against his chest as he holds me, until I’m calm enough to lift my head and look at him.
When he sees my face, he teases gently, “Who knew such a pretty girl could be such an ugly crier?”
I swipe at my wet face, sniffling. “One more wisecrack, and I’ll kill you where you stand.”
“No, you won’t. You like me.”
“You’re okay. I guess.”
Chuckling again, he pulls me against his chest and tucks my head under his chin. Then he turns serious, exhaling a long, slow breath. He says softly, “It’s a promise ring, baby. My promise to you that I’m yours. But…”
When he hesitates, I lift my head and stare at him. A pang of terror tightens my stomach. “But what?”
He caresses my cheek, gently wiping away a stray tear with his thumb. “But it’s not an engagement ring, because we can never be married.”
I close my eyes, hoping he won’t be able to see the way he’s just stabbed me through the heart. “Because it’s not safe for me, right?”
“Because I’m not allowed.”
My eyes snap open. I stare up at his handsome face with furrowed brows. “Allowed? What do you mean?”
“I mean when I told you my life wasn’t my own, that includes decisions about things like if I marry. And who.”
Shocked, I push away from him and stand back, gaping at him in disbelief. “You’re joking.”
“No.”
His expression backs up the word. He looks like he’s attending his best friend’s funeral.
“So who decides for you?”
When he doesn’t answer and just stands there staring at me like someone died, I know.
With an unfolding sense of dread, I say slowly, “Your boss decides. Maxim Mogdonovich.”
His voice edged with misery, Kage says, “It never mattered before. I assumed I’d always be alone. The way I always have been. There was no possible version of my life I could have imagined that included something like this. Someone like you.”
Cold, hard reality dumps a bucket of freezing water on my head. The true scope of my situation becomes painfully clear.
I’m in love with a man who can’t have children.
Who can’t live with me.
