Page 26 of Ruthless Creatures
“Hesaidthat?”
“Verbatim.”
“Holy shit.”
“That was pretty much my reaction, too.”
Sloane pauses. “And you didn’t throw yourself to your knees, rip open his zipper, and latch onto him like a sucker fish?”
Rolling my eyes, I sigh. “And they say romance is dead.”
It’s the next morning. I’m at home, where I’ve been doing the same thing I’ve been doing since the cab dropped me off last night. Namely, pacing.
No lights were on next door when I got home. There’s been no movement at his house this morning, either. There’s been no sign of Kage at all. I don’t even know if he’s there or not.
“Seriously, babe, that’s got to be the hottest thing I’ve ever heard. And I’ve pretty much heard everything.”
Chewing my thumbnail, I turn around and pace the other direction.
“I agree that it’s hot. It’s also way over the top. What kind of woman would react with ‘Sure, great, please fuck all my holes, Mr. Complete Stranger, sounds like a totally solid and not at all dangerous plan’?”
“Well, for starters… me.”
“Oh, come on! You would not!”
“Have you even met me? I totally would! If he would’ve been into me, I was ready to leave with him at the bar the other night without even knowing his damn name!”
“I think it’s time you seriously reexamine your life choices.”
She scoffs. “Listen to me, Sister Teresa—”
“It’s Mother Teresa, and stop comparing me to frickin’ nuns.”
“—that man isnotthe man you pass up when he offers you a ride on his elephant.”
I stop pacing long enough to look at the ceiling and shake my head.
She’s still talking.
“With that level of dirty-talk game right out of the gate, I’ll bet you a million bucks he’d give you thirty orgasms within ten minutes if you slept with him.”
“You don’t have a million dollars, and that’s not even physically possible.”
“It is with him. Hell, I could get off a dozen times alone just by looking at him. That face! That body! Jesus, Natalie, he could melt the polar ice caps with a look, and you turned him down?”
“Calm down.”
“I will not. I’m indignant on behalf of sex-starved women everywhere.”
“Excuse me, but the only sex-starved person on this phone call is me.”
“My point is that he’s a once-in-a-lifetime fuck. You could be having lovely daydreams about him at eighty when you’re in yourrocking chair in the nursing home, soiling your diapers. Instead, you’re out here acting like you’re constantly being showered with prime sausages like confetti.”
After a moment, I start to laugh. “Oh god. The mental image. I’m gonna have to search the web for that meme.”
“Forward it to me when you find it. Have you listened to anything I’ve said?”
“Yes. I’m an idiot. You’ve made your point.”
