Page 80 of Savage Hearts
He swallows hard, looks at the floor, then glances back up at me and says vehemently, “What time do I fly out?”
“You don’t.”
He steps forward, eyes flashing, a muscle jumping in his jaw. “I’m going. Like it or not, I’m going to Moscow. It’s my fault. This is my responsibility. I’m going to find her.”
Keeping my voice even, I say, “You’ll go where I tell you to go. Right now, we need you here.”
He shakes his head in frustration. “I’m useless here, and you know it. I can’t focus. I can’t sleep. I can barely fucking think!”
“Lower your voice. Take a breath. Pull yourself together.”
He closes his eyes, drags his hands through his hair, and exhales heavily. “I’m sorry. Fuck.” He drops his hands to his sides and looks out the window. His voice lowers an octave. “I have to find her. I have to. I’m going bloody mad.”
Something in his tone makes me look at him sharply.
I know he’s drowning in guilt over what happened. He blames himself more than Sloane or I do. His misery is palpable. He walks around under a black cloud of suffering so thick, it has its own atmosphere.
Maybe there’s a reason for that beyond the obvious.
Watching him carefully, I say, “I’ll need you to look after Sloane while I’m gone. I’ll get a crew together, keep you informed of our progress once we get there.”
“I’m going!” he roars, pounding a fist on my desk. “I’m not asking permission!”
I don’t react. I simply stand and gaze at him until he realizes he’s given himself away.
He would never speak to me with such disrespect unless his heart was involved.
He sinks into the chair beside him, drops his head into his hands, and groans.
After a moment, I say quietly, “She doesn’t seem like your type.”
He exhales. “I’ve never met a woman who could make me blush before.”
Jesus Christ.Anger makes my tone harder than it should be. “Do I know everything I need to know about this situation?”
He jerks his head up and stares at me beseechingly. “I never laida finger on her. I swear on my mother’s grave. Nothing happened. She doesn’t even know.”
“You’re saying it’s one-sided?”
“Aye.”
I know he’s telling the truth. Spider doesn’t have the kind of face that can hide lies.
I turn to the window and look out, thinking.What a bloody mess.
From behind me, Spider speaks in a low, urgent voice. “Malek will be expecting you to come. He’ll be waiting. Watching. Nobody will expect me.”
“He’s seen your face. He knows you.”
“He knows you better. Everyone does. You walk down a street in Moscow, and within an hour, every Bratva in the country will know you’re there.”
He pauses to let that sink in. “And you know you can’t go and leave Sloane here. Even if you tried, she wouldn’t let you. Do you really want her following you to Russia? Because we both know she would. One way or another, she would.”
I say crossly, “I’m aware.”
“So send me. I can fly under the radar in a way you can’t.”
Sighing, I turn from the window and sit across from him.
