Page 10 of My So-Called Perfect Life
He might claim it’s no issue, but real estate in this area of the city doesn’t come by this easy, so it’s a godsend for me.
Unpacking and reorganizing my things in my apartment is the perfect thing to keep my focus off the disaster of my life. It only takes me a little over two hours to put everything back into its’ place in the kitchen. The coffee pot first, of course. A sense of calm washes over me as I feel good having one room done and looking back to the way it did before.
My stomach growls again, demanding something other than pizza before I dive into any more boxes. I pull up the Grubhub app on my phone and order a pint of sesame chicken and some dumplings.
As I order, I notice the time and I’m surprised my sister and Mercy haven’t shown up at my door yet. It’s almost dinnertime, and I was positive that my texts ofI’m okayweren’t going to be enough to keep them at bay.
With my dinner ordered, I head for the boxes containing my clothes. This morning, the only clothes I had available were from my honeymoon suitcase. My only underwear option was the racy lingerie I packed to wear for Scott. Shocker: it’s not making me feel sexy the way it usually does.
Scott used to look at me with such desire when I wore the pretty sets. But now, I just keep wondering how many times he looked at Mandy the way he looked at me.
Damn it, Danielle. Stop thinking about that asshole. He isn’t worth another moment of your life.
Just as I start shifting the boxes around my room, a knock at the door pulls me away.
My stomach makes its hunger known again as if it can smell the food through the door. Hunger instantly turns to nausea as I open the door to find Scott standing there. The smorgasbord of feelings I’ve gone through in the last twenty-four hours parade through me like it’s Thanksgiving morning with anger leading the festivities.
I will be strong. I will not let him hurt me again.
I straighten my spine. “You need to leave.”
He reaches out a hand. Repulsed, I step back. “Please, let’s talk, baby.”
He can’t be serious.
“There’s nothing to talk about, Scott. You cheated on me! On our wedding day!”
“Danielle, baby, please,” he begs pathetically. He looks run-down in his jeans and wrinkled dress shirt. “I know I was stupid. I don’t know why I did it honestly because I love you. So much. More than I can tell you. I just made a bad decision.”
Does he think I’ll actually believe that?
“A bad decision is spending the night out without calling me or taking a new job without discussing it with me first,” I scoff incredulously. “Having an affair with your assistant is more than a bad decision. You didn’t accidentally fall, and your penis slipped into her mouth or vagina or wherever else you put it. You chose to cheat on me. On. Our. Wedding. Day. You let her record it! I know it wasn’t just one time. It happened multiple times, Scott. I’m not an idiot. There’s no way I can forgive you for that. You broke my heart, my trust. You shattered my world. There is no coming back from that. I hope you have a happy life with Mandy.”
“I don’t want Mandy,” he claims as he reaches for my hand again.
I pull back further inside, and he looks hurt. Too bad.
“I wantyou, Danielle. I loveyou, Danielle. I want what we were building.”
His green eyes shine with his regret, and I believe he’s truly sorry, but I don’t know whether he is sorry he did it or sorry he got caught. Either way, it doesn’t matter.
“I wanted you, too, Scott. Forever. I wanted everything with you, but for whatever reason, you wanted Mandy and not me. I can’t forgive that. You hurt me in ways I cannot begin to describe. It’s over. There’s no coming back from this.”
He shakes his head. “You don’t mean that.”
“I do.” The irony of saying those words to him in the complete opposite meaning I was planning to yesterday is not lost on me.
I stay strong and don’t waver as he stares at me in shock.
“The damage is done, Scott. It can’t be fixed.”
Despite how much animosity I feel, memories with Scott flicker through my mind. Our first date. The way he held me during scary movies. How he always let me pick the restaurant.
And it takes one second, another sliver of time, for him to wash it all away.
“If you’re serious and this is over,” he says as his posture shifts from desolate to indignant, his eyes flaring with a new emotion, one akin to the need to hurt me, “then I’m done. I’m going on our honeymoon. And I’m taking Mandy with me.”
Pure hatred erupts inside my chest like a volcano, and my foot and hand have a mind of their own. My fist pops Scott right in the nose as my foot slams into him. Right in the balls. He sounds like a wounded animal as he hits the floor in the hallway.
