Page 59 of One Love
Devin
The damn bodyguard Sebastian hiredis right up my ass the moment I slam the door behind me.
“Where to, Ms. Miller?” the hulking man asks as he falls in stride with me to the elevator. “I’m not permitted to let you leave the building.”
I growl. “No shit, asshole, but thanks for reminding me. I’m going to the gym, if that’s okay with you. Do I need a signed permission slip?”
I’m an asshole. I know I’m being an asshole. These men are here to make sure Crystal... Michelle... psycho… whatever the hell we’re calling her these days doesn’t succeed in killing me or burning off my face, but I’m frustrated. I’m also petrified. The fear runs deep into my bones, and I have no control over it, which in turn has me acting like a spoiled, ungrateful bitch.
“I’m sorry,” I huff indignantly. Saying sorry makes me feel like I’m wrong, but my feelings aren’t wrong. I have a right to be terrified; it’s just not this man’s fault.
He nods. “It’s all good, ma’am. Occupational hazard. I’m used to it.”
We ride the elevator in silence. I close my eyes and lean my head back on the wall, trying to calm myself. Maybe I should take up meditation while I have nothing else to do.
The doors open on the second floor, where the gym is located, and I step out, heading right for the treadmills.
Setting the pace on the machine, I skip the warm-up walking and go right into a brisk jog.
I should have brought my headphones, so I can listen to something to distract me from my thoughts. I will not be that asshole who plays her music without headphones so everyone in the gym hears my music, even if there are only four other people in here.
Staring at the pool as I jog reminds me, I should have grabbed a bathing suit.
I should have done a lot of things.
Like got out when I had the chance months ago. I should have held tight to my morals and never slept with Sebastian Brooks again.
A deep hurt mixed with guilt pangs my chest. I know I don’t mean that. I love Sebastian, I do, despite every fucked-up thing that’s happened since I walked into my first day at Midtown.
But fuck, did he have to sleep with everyone? I mean, I could have handled all the women looking for a night of fun. Hell, I did the same thing with him. He has this magnetism about him that just draws you in. But the psycho bitch trying to kill me? Her I could have done without.
Pressing the up arrow on the treadmill controls, I increase my speed and try to clear my mind. Using a yoga calming technique, I picture the waves crashing on the ocean for serenity. I focus on the waves and run.
A few minutes later, my phone vibrates in my pocket. I want to ignore it and keep running until my legs give out, but I can’t. What if it’s news about Crystal?
I dig it out of the hidden pocket on the leg of my leggings and see Mark’s name.
Pressing the down arrow this time, I lower the speed, so I can talk to my brother.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Dev.” I can tell from his voice he’s already spoken to Sebastian. He’s using his placating tone.
“What’s up, Mark?” I know he’s not calling to tell me anything important about Crystal. He’d be here in person, so would Sebastian.
“We’re going to figure this all out,” he says, trying to soothe my nerves. “This is only temporary, but you have to eat. You have to take care of yourself. How are the nightmares?”
“Not better. Not worse. It’s like she refuses to leave my mind.”
“Better to have bad dreams than to be dead.” He’s blunt and to the point. “I get it, Devin, I do. We’re doing everything we can over here, but it doesn’t seem to be enough. We know she’s somewhere close, but we can’t find her. It’s like she’s everywhere and nowhere at the same time.”
“Welcome to my world.” I sigh. “I know she’s close. Out there watching us. Laughing at me as she does like I’m an animal in a zoo exhibit. It doesn’t change the fact that, despite my deep-seated terror, I still want to run out the doors of this building waving the middle finger, screaming ‘come get me.’ I know I can’t, but I still want to. I don’t like feeling caged in.”
He exhales with the same exasperation I feel. “Just hang tight a little longer. It’s better she wins by you feeling caged than with you in a casket, okay. This woman is crazy. This isn’t the time to be brave; it’s a time to be smart.”
“I know.” My voice is small. Mark is 100 percent correct.
“Cut Sebastian a break too, okay?” he adds. “That man feels guilty as hell and will take anything you dish out but remember that at the end of the day, he’s doing all this because he loves you. Hold on to the love you guys have. Don’t let her twist it into something ugly. Oh, and start eating or I’m going to sic Mom on you, and we both know you don’t want that.”
