Page 68 of The Red Zone
I should tell him we have to wear condoms every time.
No, maybe we should just end it while things are good. Before our feelings get caught up in this. Before the potential for another life gets caught up in this. But did I really want that? For all of this to be over for good?
I let out a rugged sigh, looking over to realize that Scarlett was sound asleep. Abel walked into the living room right around the time I stood up from the couch and placed a quick kiss on Scar’s cheek before tucking the blankets in a little tighter at her sides.
“Doesn’t Scar look so cute when she’s sleeping?” I whispered, coming over to stand side by side with him as we both watched her chest rise and fall.
Abel gave me a clipped nod, twisting his head and looking at her longingly. Almost like he missed her even though she was right in front of him.
There was a pulling sensation in my gut.
I wanted that. What the two of them had. Someone who would look at me the way that he looked at her and wouldn’t hesitate to call a friend on my behalf when I needed some girl time to decompress.
Was it possible that October could be that person for me?
“Thanks for calling me. You know… she’s lucky to have you.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” I forced a smile, rubbing a friendly hand on his upper arm before heading for the front door.
* * *
A bundle of nerves twisted in my stomach as I walked through the pool house door and into the kitchen where October was peeling an orange, and planting myself in front of him.
“I think that… we should—I don’t know—maybe stop sleeping together?” My words came out a bit more uneasy than I’d rehearsed on the way over here.
Concern washed over his face and he dropped the orange onto the counter before walking over and placing his hands on my hips. “What’s wrong?”
Maybe it was the whirlwind of emotions from the last few hours altering my cognitive ability, but I was almost certain there was a hint of hurt in his eyes.
“Look, I’m sorry. It wasn’t like I planned for Scarlett to have a pregnancy scare. Or that it would completely terrify me, because my life is in shambles right now, and the last thing I need is a child added to the mix.” I paused to suck in a breath between my frantic rambling. “Plus, you wouldn’t want to have a kid with me, anyway, would you? That would just be—”
“Hey, hey, hey.” His hand wrapped around my waist and I instantly felt a sense of calmness wash over me. He held me, not pushing for more of an explanation while I caught my breath. “What was all that for? If you don’t feel comfortable sleeping together anymore then I have no problems with that. I just want to make sure you’re alright.”
I tucked my chin into my chest bashfully. “Wait… so you’re not upset?”
“Why would I be upset?”
“I don’t know… I just thought…”
“Stop thinking.” There was a pull at the corner of his lips that made me huff out a laugh. “If you want to stop this, just tell me. I’m not going to pry you for answers or make you feel bad about it. I’d never do that.”
I didn’t want to stop this.
Was I terrified? Undoubtedly.
The thought of potentially having a child with someone who I was still mending a broken relationship with was scary. There was already so much change happening in my life and another tiny human added to the mix would send me into a spiral.
I wanted to keep seeing October.
Not only was the sex great, but I had this feeling that there was something there. Something deeper than either of us could see. The spark Scarlett had been hinting at all along.
I sighed. “I don’t want to stop seeing each other… but I think we need to be more careful. Wearing condoms and me being more diligent about taking my birth control.”
“Then that’s what we’ll do.” October kissed the tip of my nose. “And for the record, one day, down the road…” He gave me a soft smile. “You’re going to be a great mom. I’m sure of it.”
Was it wrong to feel a bundle of excitement in my chest at the possibility of him—far, far down the line—being the father? Or was I getting too ahead of myself?
