Page 50 of The Physical Attraction Seminar
BARRETT
Session Four: Keys To Being a Kinkier Kisser
“My, oh, my,”Glenda marvels while walking up the side stage steps. “Good morning, everyone, I am Glenda Glover… couples therapist, sexologist, professor, podcast host, and international bestseller off the smash hit ‘Sex Ass Backwards.’”
As our eyes meet, Lyla and I both break into slow, knowing smiles.
“Today’s seminar is called ‘Keys to Being a Kinkier Kisser.’”
“So, is this like a giant orgy without the penetration?” a stout man shouts from the back of the patio with a stupidly satisfied grin. The short woman standing by his side crosses her arms over her chest while a displeased scowl transforms over her face.
“Something like that!” Glenda replies enthusiastically while she takes her place on the small stage of the outdoor patio area.
I shake my head.
Well, that’s…
I wasn’t expecting her to say that.
Let me clarify that Lyla was the one who chose today's seminar session—not myself.
At the beginning of the week, we made a pact to each pick one session to attend, as Charlene and Buster had graciously invited us to a few others. I decided on couples counseling, thinking it would be a safe option. So, you can imagine my surprise when Lyla told me she wanted to attend this one.
We were lying in bed, separated by the pillow barricade that she insists on having, even though we always wake up tangled together in the morning. I had just turned out the lights; the room was cast into darkness, and I could hear the faint hum of the air conditioner lulling me to sleep.
Then Lyla piped up in a faint whisper, her words tumbling together as she said, “Ithinkweshouldgotothekissingseminar.”
After hearing that, sleep eluded me for most of the night.
On the itinerary, there was a dress code reminder for today’s session, instructing men to wear button-down shirts. The attendee notes specified that participants should remember to bring their favorite lipstick. Similarly, when we arrived, every couple wasevenly spaced out across the patio, each pair assigned to a single chair.
“There are a few announcements I need to make before we get started,” Glenda explains. “First, if at any point during this seminar, you start to feel… aroused… please exit through the double doors at the back of the patio. This is not an exhibitionist’s retreat. However, if you are looking for one, there’s a lovely resort in Jamaica that might interest you.”
“Do you really think people end up leaving?” Lyla whispers.
“I hope not. Wouldn’t that be embarrassing for them?”
“Lastly,” Glenda projects her voice just as the sound of thunder rumbles above. “There is a minor storm headed our way within the next hour or less, so we’re going to have to be cautious of time today as all the indoor meeting rooms are currently being occupied. Everyone hear that?”
The patio is filled with a chorus of nods and hums of confirmation.
“Perfect. Gentlemen, may I kindly request all of you keep your shirts on but begin unbuttoning them? Everyone else, take a moment to marvel at your surroundings.”
Lyla keeps her eyes locked on mine as I undo the first few buttons, but her gaze gradually shifts down little by little. She’s got a shit-eating grin, and she’s not even trying to hide the fact that she’s checking me out.
She has no idea how sexy it is. How good it makes me feel.
“Men, please take a seat in the chair next to you,” Glenda models the position with her demonstration partner, who looked to be at least twenty years her junior.
“Ladies, please take a seat on your man.”
My breath catches in my chest.
I expect her to be nervous, but Lyla confidently positions herself on my lap, her eyes meeting mine with determination. Her pink dress rides up her thighs and creates a slight ruffle around her hips. My hands instinctively trace along her outer thighs, wanting to feel the smoothness of her sun-kissed legs.
“We don’t have to do this if it makes you feel uncomfortable,” I whisper quietly to Lyla, low enough for only her to hear.
“I feel very comfortable right now. How about you?” She tilts her head with a little smile that makes my chest feel tight.
