Page 23 of Risen
Thisisn'tgoingtowork, she whispered in my head, her voice like syrupy sweet poison that infected my thoughts no matter how hard I tried to resist.You aren't strong enough.Without your maker you are nothing.You'll weaken and die.You'll be little more than the worthless human you were, all over again.Weak.Odd.Broken.Unlovable.Youneedsomeone to be your master.
Acacia was weaker here in the naga's home than she had been since she first turned me into a monster and took away my free will.Sanka's wards, the naga magic around me, the curse breaker's amulet, the distance between us...They all prevented her from taking over my body.But still, she whispered in my mind, ferreted out my deepest fears, and made me question my own being.
You've spent your whole life in his shadow.Was that her thought or mine?It was getting difficult to tell.You were his weak little servant.His puppy.At leastIgave you power.
I did my best to shake those thoughts away as I moved through the tunnels with the others.Tension coiled through my body, tighter than ever.
Up ahead, Robin had her head bent whispering something with the Naga general and Sadavir, Martina and Sanka gesticulating from time to time as they interjected suggestions or concerns.The dragon alpha hadn’t mentioned her outburst at the hot springs since then, and no one else had brought it up, content to let sleeping dragons lie.
I felt myself sympathizing with the rebel alpha.It was so painfully clear that she was forcing herself to drown out her feelings with work.She had been busy planning for days, sending secret messages, talking to contacts, meeting with the Naga leaders, and rehashing every step of her plan with her Court.Her powerful aura buzzed with a fierceness that pulled at me, urging me to please her, to look out for her wellbeing since she clearly wasn’t doing so.I shook myself mentally.Not my alpha.Not my problem.I had more important things to focus on at the moment.
This was really happening.We were going to attempt to murder the emperor of the syndicate and overthrow the corrupt governing body that had destroyed countless paranorm lives over the years.Everyone around me was tense and on edge, filled with both anticipation and dread, wondering whether we would all live to see tomorrow.It was time to go, Robin needed to move, to get into place, to carry out her grand plan and complete her decades long quest for vengeance and justice.But she was delaying for me.To deal with the liability I posed.
An inconvenience.That's all I ever was.Constantly holding them back and slowing them down.
And without your connection to me, the poisonous voice in my head whispered,you'll be even weaker.Unremarkable.A vampire with a strong maker can draw on that strength.Surely you're not so stupid is to give that up, when that's the only value you hold.Do you want to be weak, like you were as a useless human?No one will want you around then.
I shook my head, then started when a warm hand landed on my shoulder.I glanced to the side to find Cicely walking next to me.He removed his hand from my shoulder to sign to me.“It's almost time,”he said, giving me an encouraging look.“Soon you'll be free from her.”
I had been dreaming about this day for over a month, waiting for the curse breaker’s Cold Moon to arrive.Now, I was doubting myself.Who knew if it would even work?It could kill me.Or leave you as a gibbering husk of a man with your mind utterly destroyed,Acacia chimed in.Though, usually those who try to dishonor their gift by breaking a maker’s bond simply end up as vegetables, locked inside themselves while their bodies slowly waste away.It takes a long time for a vampire body to die.
I pushed away those chilling images and stubbornly continued my own train of thought.Even if this did work, I'd still be a vampire.A monster.And… the controlling evil voice in my head would be gone, but I almost certainly would be weaker—less of a liability without Acacia spying and using me to cause harm, but also far less valuable to the court.
Cicely must have read some of the doubt in my expression.He reached for me again, this time drawing me away from the others so that we stopped at the side of the bridge overlooking the river.“You are about to get your life back, my friend,”he said, his handsome face earnest as he signed.“Yes, you'll still be a changed man.But you can take control again.Make this new version of your life into one you can be proud of.”Then he winked at me.“And you can cuddle up with Ruya and Sadavir without any cause for concern, soak up their attention for days.”His chiseled lips curved upward into a sweet smile that was tinged with just a bit of wickedness.“And since I'm Sadavir's beta now too, I offer my cuddling services as well, should you need them.”He winked.
I managed a soft laugh.Some betas might be afraid of another beta encroaching on their territory.Especially since I wasn't exactly myself anymore and my position with them didn't exactly feel secure.But this was Cicely; I doubt he could make anyone feel uncomfortable even if he tried.And I wasn’t too proud to admit he was a good looking guy.I certainly wouldn’t say no to those cuddles… if I survived breaking this bond.And if we all lived long enough for his hopeful little future to become a reality.Wewereabout to go to war, after all.Breaking one little vampire maker’s bond was only the beginning.
I shifted my pack of supplies up higher on my back and continued moving.We all carried supplies—food, first aid supplies, weapons, magical items, and armor.The moment this curse breaking business was done, we had a date with the syndicate.Acacia always met with the emperor on the full moon, and any deviation from that would look suspicious.So we we're on a tight schedule.
I just hoped I survived to be part of the fight.Acacia’s words about being locked inside my own mind as my body wasted away reminded me too much of the time I had spent in a similar situation when I willingly underwent Sanka’s curse on the way to the enclave.A day and a half of that had almost been too much to bear.I couldn’t imagine being stuck like that for weeks, months…years.
When we emerged from the entrance to the naga enclave, the curse breaker wasted no time setting up his work area.A simple spell circle, an array of crystals and feathers, and a few other things I didn't question too closely.Then he shooed everyone back except for me, leaving me standing alone in the center of the circle wondering if my attempts at freedom we're going to result in my death.
It was well known that suddenly severing a maker bond could have disastrous consequences.Given the amount of acid acacia was currently spewing into my psyche, I knew she wasn't going to make this easy on us.She might use our connection to kill me out of spite if she thought she was about to lose control.Or destroy my mind on purpose, as a parting gift.
Kneeling in the center of the circle, I tilted my head back, looking up at the cold white light of the full moon as it slowly appeared and disappeared between strips of cloud in the night sky.Was this it?My last night on earth?
I lowered my head, turning to look first for Ruya, then landing on Sadavir, who stood at her side.My prince.My reason for living.My chest clenched at the thought of ever being truly parted from him.Memories of all the time we had spent together started to tumble through my mind.I didn't want to let Acacia spy on those treasured moments, but I couldn't help but relive them as I cursed myself for ever holding back from him, now that I might not get to hold him again.
Sadavir seemed to sense what my thoughts might be, or maybe he was thinking the same thing himself.Whatever the reason, he held up a hand to the curse breaker and paced closer to the circle.His citrine eyes glowed in the night, and a surge of his alpha power wrapped around me as he held out a hand, drawing me out of the circle and into his arms.Enfolding me as if he could protect me from the world.
I clung to him tightly, not caring who witnessed my neediness, wishing it had all turned out differently for us.“I love you,” he voiced against my hair, nuzzling his head against mine, squeezing me so tightly I thought my ribs might break.
“Can we please hurry this along?”Robin's husky voice cut through our moment.“If we delay too long the emperor will suspect there's something going on, and we might miss our chance to get past his defenses.”
I released Sadavir and he let me step away.But he reached out one last time to cup my cheek and stare intently into my eyes as if memorizing my face.
The curse breaker cleared his throat, and I left Sadavir’s side to return to the circle.I was surprised when the curse breaker entered the circle with me and knelt down in front of me, his eyes staring intently into mine.Raising his hands, he gently touched the tips of his fingers to my temples and his magic started to swell.“You're going to need this,”he said with a wry tilt to his lips.
Then his magic flooded me, his fingers sending questing tendrils into my brain.Making me remember what I had forgotten.
My first kiss with Sadavir, the moment we had confessed our feelings for one another and sworn to always be at each other’s side.The memory of the sensations felt fresh, as if the moment was only just happening now—elation, his lips firm on mine, his fingers tangled in my hair, bittersweet yearning morphed into the deep, warm relief of being truly seen andwantedin a way I had never dreamed possible.
I remembered how, at that moment, it had felt as if I had finally discovered my true purpose, that one small but absolutely crucial last piece of the puzzle settling into my heart as my prince became more than my ruler or my best friend, and became myeverything.It felt like it had happened only seconds before, instead of decades ago.
The curse breaker moved away, leaving me reeling slightly.Had he saved that memory just for this moment?Why take it away only to give it back now?Maybe he had been struck by a sudden case of conscience.Whatever the reason, I was grateful.My fear was lifted.I went into the ritual floating on the warm feelings of new love given and reciprocated.
The curse breaker waved the others further away, then he stepped outside the circle, lifted his hands, and began channeling his magic.
