Page 46 of Risen
“I feel the same,” I told her honestly.“You know that.”
She sighed.“I do.Which is why I wanted a chance to talk to you alone.Without the others drifting by and casually overhearing.”
A sudden bolt of fear lodged itself in my gut.Was she upset with me?She said she was happy to have me in her life, but… did she regret our bond?Or was it something else—maybe some new danger to the court?
“Shh…” she said, gently stroking her graceful fingers over my hair like she was soothing a frightened animal.“I’m sorry.I didn’t meant worry you, Ruya.But of course you’d sense me being all… ridiculous.”
The resignation in her voice told me this was something to do withfeelingsor something else my dragon princess had always viewed as weakness.“Just tell me,” I said, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze.“Whatever is worrying you, surely you know by now that I won’t ever judge you.”
She huffed.“You might.I’mjudging me right now.”
“Robin,” I said in warning.We were long past the days when I allowed her to keep secrets and avoid important things—especially if those important things were tied up with her alpha dragon nonsense.
She relented, still clasping my hand in hers between us.“Earlier, when we were enjoying those lovely orgies,” she began, and I couldn’t help the soft laugh that escaped me.“Are you quite done laughing at me?”she said in a dry tone of voice.“And after you promised not to judge, too.Such a liar, little omega.”
“Sorry,” I said, trying my best to reign it in.“Sorry.Go on.During the multiple orgies we just engaged in with the entire court…”
She snorted.“As I was saying.The reason I didn’t fully… participate.I don’t want you to go thinking that it was because of some failing on your part, or that I’m pulling away.And… I have… things… I’d like to say.”
I arched a brow, though I wasn’t sure if she could see it in the dark.“I didn’t think anything much of it,” I reassured her.“You aren’t obligated to do anything you aren’t interested in doing.And I know not everyone wants everything all the time.But what did you really want to talk about?”
She pressed a kiss to my forehead, then soldiered on, broaching what I slowly began to realize was averydifficult subject for her.
“I didn’t want to climax or to be touched because… I have… an egg right now.”
I felt the flush rising from my chest to my cheeks and I hoped fervently that she couldn’t see it or sense it.I had never told her all my secret fantasies about dragons and eggs.It didn’t seem… normal.“Oh.”I said intelligently.I didn’t really understand.
Robin’s cycle meant that she occasionally formed an egg.If she was with another dragon, and in a relationship where she was the giver rather than the nurturer—where she took on the more stereotypically masculine role—she could impregnate her partner during these times.She had never made any secret of how much she hated the idea of impregnating anyone.But that had never really stopped her from playing before.As far as I knew, she could still orgasm, still come, without releasing the egg.Though I knew she was a bit more tender to the touch during those times.I wasn’t sure why she was bringing it up now, or why it would stop her from participating earlier.Unless maybe she didn’t trust the others to be gentle with her?But that didn’t make any sense.Of course they would do anything she asked.She knew that.
She seemed to sense my confusion through our bond, and she let out an impatient huff that I knew was directed more at herself than at me.“I’m not saying this right,” she muttered.“Whyis this so hard?I’m an alpha princess.A dragon.Where has my confidence gone?Why can’t I formwords?”
I chuckled.“Maybe it’s just really important to you.Don’t worry.I might not get it, but I’m listening.Explain it to me, please.”
She sighed and tried again.“I… didn’t want to risk damaging the egg, if… I… oh for fucks sake!Ruya, would you ever consider having my child?”
I froze as my brain short circuited, utterly certain I had misheard her or was somehow misunderstanding what she meant.
The pause and the utter meltdown in my brain must have felt like rejection to my mate.She released my hand and flopped onto her back.“Never mind.Forget I said anything.”
I opened and closed my mouth a few times before I could manage to produce a sound.Even then, my voice was shaky and breathy.“No.I… are you asking me if I want to take your egg?As in… not someday, but… now?”
She had been so adamantly against it before.I thought the idea disgusted her.I thought maybe I was a bad match for her because I wasn’t a dragon omega.I thought…
She rolled again, this time pressing me into the mattress with her weight as she lay atop me, pinning me down.A low growl rumbled through her.“I can feel that, know.All that self-doubt and fear, and… whatever it is.And whatever the cause, you arewrong.”Her hand cupped my cheek and her lips pressed to mine, fierce and hard.“You are my omega, and you areperfect,Ruya.I won’t allow you to ever think otherwise.If this topic distresses you we’ll never speak of it again.”
I sucked in a deep breath as all my thoughts came rushing back at once, my brain finally unfreezing.“No!I mean yes.I mean, you didn’t do anything wrong, Robin.I was just surprised.Don’tstop talking.”
She relaxed, the tension in her lithe body melting.“You aren’t repulsed by the idea, then?”
I laughed, lifting my head to press a quick kiss to her lips.“Not atall.I just thought… well, I thoughtyouwere.And then I thought maybe it was partially because I’m not a dragon.Is it evenpossiblefor me to… carry an egg?”
She nuzzled her nose against mine in a playful gesture that told me just how happy she was.Robin was rarely evercutesy.“I had my reasons to be hesitant.And the world around us wasn’t exactly a great place to rais a mixed-breed child.But things have changed.I’ve done a lot of soul searching over the past year, and alotof arguing with my dragon side.Sharing this gift between us doesn’t have to be a threat to my sense of self.And my beast side—all my instincts—say now is the time.And no, you don’t have to be a dragon.The whole process is absurdly reliant on magic to begin with.Witches and dragons are one of the more compatible races when it come to reproduction.”Then she paused again, stroking my cheek.“Though, if you want a child, you could conceive more easily and with less of a steep learning curve with any of your male partners.”
I shook my head before she could even finish.“Maybe, one day, I’d like that.But I want this.I wantyourbaby, Robin.You’ll just have to walk me through everything.”
She smiled against my lips as she kissed me again, soft and sweet this time.“See?I told you.You’re so perfect, Ruya.And I’m so blessed to be able to call you mine.”
I kissed her back, my arms curling around her waist, holding her close.“So, when do we get started?”
She laughed, rolling off me and moving to lay on my arm with her head pillowed on my chest.“Soon.But not tonight.I want to prepare.To make sure you have a little more time to think this through.And to make sure it all goes well for both of us.Judging by how your body reacted tonight and how you smell, your heat will be starting in a day or two.Your body will be the most fertile and receptive then.We can talk more about it tomorrow.”
I nodded, pressing a kiss to her hair.“Whatever you think is best, alpha.”
She ignored my lightly teasing tone, probably sensing the genuine sincerity behind my words.Her hand came to rest on my lower belly, and she stroked slow, soft circles there.“Sometimes I can’t believe any of this is real.I’m afraid I’ll wake up and find it was all a dream and I am still that small, terrified child, alone on the streets.”
I held her closer as my heart broke for her, then put itself back together, swelling with love.I pushed my emotions down our bond, making sure she felt how much I loved her.How happy I was that she was here now, with me.“It’s real,” I whispered.“And neither of us, or anyone in our court, will ever need to feel so alone ever again.”
Her hand moved up to cup my cheek, and she tilted her head up to me for a lingering kiss that held all the love, and relief, and hope for the future that was burning inside us.
My world was about to change again, tilting on its axis in the dizzying way it had over and over again sine I met the rebel court.But this time the dizziness was filled with anticipation, rather than fear, and I was excited to see what happened next with my court—myfamily—by my side.
