Page 39 of Keep My Secrets
“Do you still trust me?”
“Yes.” The word comes out of my mouth before I could even think about it. Even with the worry and fears, my body knows I am safe with Theo.
He stands and walks to the head of the bed. I follow his movement as he pulls something else out of the nightstand. He dangles a black silk blindfold next to me.
“Still trust me?” I look from the blind fold to him, and nod my head. I take a deep breath as he gently places it over my eyes. In a moment, the room goes black. Nerves rise within me. I wiggle my wrists, testing the cuffs, proving they are secure.
“Deep breath,” Theo instructs. I do as I am told, hoping it will calm the anxiety. It works momentarily, but now, not being able to see Theo and focus on the things around me, the thoughts I am trying to escape from grow louder.
He is using you. He doesn't care about you. He's going to leave you.
I hear a door open. I can't tell if it was the bedroom door or the closet door, but my heart begins to race.
“Theo,” I whimper, begging for something to prove he is still there. But he doesn't answer. I try to take another deep breath, but it keeps getting caught in my throat.
I pull harder on the cuffs, but they still don't budge. My heart begins to beat out of my chest.
I try again, “Theo,” this time louder. I can't hear any movement. I want to trust him, but this is becoming too much. He left. I am alone. I'm tied up and vulnerable, and he left me alone. I can't free myself. I can't protect myself. I’m helpless.
You're helpless, he left. He's going to do this over and over again, leaving you with nothing.
“Yellow.” I hear things hit the floor as Theo walks closer to the bed.
Chapter
Eighteen
Theo
I turn so fast that everything that was on the end table crashes to the floor. I need to get to Aria. Standing to the side of her, I try to assess the situation. Aria is breathing heavier, and tears stream down her face. She has brought her knees up, making herself as small as she can.
“Baby.” I place my hands on her, looking for anything that could be hurting her.
“Daddy, please,” she begs.
“Please, what? What's going on, baby?” I brush her hair out of her face.
“Ple-please do-don't leave,” she stutters. I wipe the tears from under her eyes and place my hands on either side of her face.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“I couldn't hear you.” She swallows hard. I was too quiet from the couch. “I thought you were gone.”
“I'm still here, baby, I'm not going anywhere.” I use my thumb to wipe away a few of her tears. “I am so sorry I made you feel that way. Do you want to continue, or are you done?”
“No.” I shake my head, confused.
“No, what?”
“I want to continue.” I lean down and gently kiss her forehead.
“Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for letting me in to help you. You are truly amazing, Aria.” I try to speak calmly and comfort her. She doesn't need dominance now; she needs care, and she's letting me be the one to provide it. “Even when your body is turning against you, you trust that when you pull the safe word, I am going to listen.” Her breathing settles. “I am going to walk around the bed. It's just you and me, and I am not going anywhere.”
I know that at the beginning of our relationship, she was very scared that I would leave. She did eventually trust me and was able to be vulnerable. Some of the accusations from her mom may have stirred up those fears of abandonment again. In a little while, we will have to sit and have those hard conversations. But for right now, I want Aria to take a break from the anxiety and only be able to think of the good. Because we are so good together.
“I’m right here.” I place my hand on the top of her foot. “I need you to relax, okay?”
She nods her head before taking a deep breath.
