Page 42 of Keep My Secrets
“Why couldn't you deny some of the things my mom accused you of?”
“Is that what got you so worked up, that I didn't deny the things she was saying?” Theo clarifies, but doesn't answer.
“Partially. There have been a lot of lingering feelings that have just gone unaddressed from the beginning, but hearing some outrageous claims being thrown at you, where you would deny some but not all, was really confusing.”
If he hadn't denied anything, that would be one thing, but he did deny some. He shot down some things that were absolutely false, but he didn’t make it known that other things weren't true.
“I'm sorry I made this so confusing for you.” While I appreciate the apology, he still hasn't actually answered. My anxiety begins to turn into anger. It's one thing to keep secrets, but skirting around the question and gaslighting me is an insult to my intelligence.
“How am I supposed to trust you when I know you're actively lying to me?” The words come out sharper than I intended, but I get my point across.
Theo looks away and stares at the TV for a minute, even though it's just displaying a static ad.
“Why did it seem like there was some truth in what my mom was saying when she said you were going to leave me, or put me in danger because of some secret mafia?”
“I won't leave you, Aria, and I will do everything in my power to keep you safe.” Still not an answer, but at least we're closer to one. I think about his words. He is again not denying it; in a way, he is kind of confirming it. That my mom was lying about him leaving me because of his job, but not that his job would put me in danger.
“I'm still not getting complete answers, Theo. How am I supposed to be able to fully submit and trust when all I get are half-truths? Trust is earned, and I trust you not to hurt me, but I don't know if I can trust you with anything else. You have asked for so much blind trustfromme, but you don't have any trustinme.”
That last sentence seems to hit hard. I don't want to hurt him, but I also need to protect myself. I need to know what I'm up against if I am going to keep myself safe and be able to fully support Theo. If he is going to keep secrets from me for the entire time we're together, this isn't going to work.
“Aria, I need just a few more minutes of blind trust. I know I haven't earned it, but, baby, I promise this is the last time I will hide anything from you,” Theo pleads.
My heart wants to trust, since that's what it has been doing for the last few months. My head argues that it won't be the last time; every time will be thelast time. I can't keep doing this.
I find a compromise, I'll give him blind trust one last time, but if he keeps anything from me again, I'll leave. It will be hard, but I can't be somewhere where I'm not trusted.
“Fine, last time.”
Before the words are fully out of my mouth, he is out of the bed, phone in hand, making a call. He kisses my forehead before leaving the room.
I really hope I didn't just make a huge mistake.
Chapter
Twenty
Theo
“I just need a guarantee she will be safe from us and because of us.”
“If you are sure, you have it. But if she becomes a threat to The Court, we will have to take action.”
“She won't."
“Then she is an extension of you and will be treated as such.”
I end the call and take a deep breath before re-entering the bedroom. Aria is still sitting on the bed, TV paused, and just staring down at her hands in her lap.
“You’re right.”
Her face snaps up in my direction and waits for more information.
“There were things your mom said that I could not deny, and still be able to tell you I have never lied to you.” Her gaze remains focused on me as I walk back into the room and onto my side of the bed. “You’re also right that you deserve the truth. I have asked so much blind trust from you and given none in return.”
I sit down on the foot of the bed, giving us space to talk. This is going to be a difficult conversation, and I want her to know I am here for her, but also give her space to process everything.
“I need you to know I wasn’t hiding things from you because I don’t trust you.” I swallow hard. “I hid them because I am trying to protect you. But seeing how hurt you are because of the secrets, I can’t keep them from you anymore.”
