Right now, she was the convenient target for my rage, and from what I knew, a strong enough vessel to withstand my fury. But my fury was a shield, a desperate attempt to deflect from my own actual pain: the knowledge that I had somehow failed too. My pride, my stubborn refusal to walk away when there was stilltime, my damn pride believing I was strong enough to protect her... it had all fueled my actions, hadn’t it? That thought twisted like a knife in my gut.
I would never forgive Meredith. I knew that deep down. My father always preached forgiveness. But his words felt like ash in my mouth. Meredith’s betrayal was unforgivable. To forgive the bitch felt like betraying her, condoning the years of pain and suffering she endured, all because I fell in love and couldn’t let go. To forgive Meredith felt like admitting I was the weak one, the failure. And weakness was something I couldn’t afford. Not now. Not with my daughter caught in the crossfire.
So I raged. I lashed out and blamed her, feeding the flames of my conflict, all the while knowing I was perpetuating the very cycle of destruction I swore to break. It was easier, so much easier, than admitting my culpability. It was easier than swallowing the bitter pill of forgiveness, even if that forgiveness might be the only way to salvage what remained of my family, even if it meant betraying the hardened shell I’d built around my own broken heart. But the regret, the icy dread of the choices I made, hung heavily and suffocated, promising to haunt me long after the dust settled. And I knew, with a sickening certainty, that I would regret every decision I made. I was already starting to.
“If you have a better idea, then speak now or forever hold your peace, becausemydaughter is in there with him, and from where I’m standing, this is the only way.”
“He is going to kill you!”
“Better me thanmydaughter!” I shouted as a clap of thunder rocked the earth, then I sighed. “Look, Meredith. I don’t have a choice here. He wants me. Not her.”
“Montana is going to lose his shit,” she mumbled, shaking her head.
I smirked at that because she was right. Montana Stone, my closest childhood friend, my president in the Soulless Sinners... he was a volcano waiting to erupt. He overreacted, yes, but it wasn’t just that. It was the possessiveness, the suffocating need for control that simmered beneath his bravado. He’d always been like that, even as kids, hoarding the best candy, refusing to share his prized baseball cards. And now, as president of the Soulless Sinners, that possessiveness had morphed into something far more dangerous.
Walking into the Brotherhood of Bastards’ clubhouse felt like a betrayal, a betrayal of everything Montana and I had worked for. It gnawed at me, this violation of our unspoken code, a code built on brotherhood and mutual protection, a brotherhood I now willingly jeopardized for the love of a child.
The sickening truth was that I knew what Montana would do. The vision of his furious face, his sneering contempt, his threats played on a loop in my mind. It wasn’t just the damnation and the threats; it was the disappointment that even after all these years, a small part of me still didn’t trust him. The deep, crushing disappointment in his eyes would be far worse than any physical punishment. He’d always believed in me fiercely, blindly. And now, I was about to shatter that faith, cracking the very foundation of our friendship.
But the worst part? The absolute gut-wrenching worst part was that I would do it willingly. I’d chosen this path long ago, knowing full well the consequences, knowing I was making a terrible choice, a choice that would likely irrevocably damage everything I worked hard to protect. I was about to make a deal with the Devil, a desperate gamble for a future I wasn’t even sure I deserved, a future built on the lies of a past neither one of us truly knew. And the regret... it was already a bitter taste in my mouth, a taste that promised to linger long after the dust settled. It was the price of my freedom, or perhaps, the price of my folly.
“Say what you want about Montana, but he’s at his best when his back is against the wall.”
“What wall?” she shouted. “You are about to shove him through the fucking wall! There is no wall!”
I took a deep breath, steeling myself. My daughter’s life was at stake, and I’d do whatever it took to get her back. “I know the risks,” I said, my voice steady despite the turmoil within me to throw her to the wolves instead. “Shut up, Meredith. It’s not your decision. I can’t just stand here and do nothing.”
With a last glance at the bitch who started it all, I took a fortifying breath and stepped towards the clubhouse, my heart pounding. I felt like I was stepping off a cliff, the weight of my decision pressing down on me. The rain seemed to intensify as I moved, each drop like a bullet hitting my skin as the door loomed before me, a portal to a world I’d been taught to fear and despise.
The moment I crossed that threshold, everything would change, and I felt a shiver run down my spine. The air was thick with the scent of smoke and something sinister. The clubhouse was dimly lit, the only light coming from a few scattered lamps and the flickering glow of a TV in the corner. Figures loomed in the shadows, their eyes cold and calculating. I recognized some faces; men I’d heard stories about, men who were as dangerous as they came.
My heart hammered in my chest, but I forced myself to keep moving.
This was it.
The point of no return.
“A prodigal son returns,” a gravelly voice seethed from deep within the shadows. “Welcome home, August.”
“I want my daughter, Kane.”
Laughter billowed all around me, sending a shiver of unease down my spine.
“You want?” His voice vibrated around me. “And what will you give in return?”
“Me,” I said, my voice steady, but my insides were churning. I knew the moment I uttered those words, I had sealed my fate. The room fell silent, the laughter dying as quickly as it had erupted.
Kane stepped forward, his eyes narrowing. “You would give your life for a daughter you never knew about? That’s a bold move, August. But then, you were never really that smart.”
I held his gaze, my heart pounding. I knew Kane was right. This was a bold move, perhaps the boldest I had ever made. But I would do anything for my daughter, for any of my children, even if it meant facing the Brotherhood of Bastards alone.
“So be it,” Kane said, a slow smile spreading across his face. “The good doctor has always been a man of his word. I will give you your daughter, but I demand your loyalty.”
My stomach dropped. This was the moment I had been dreading, the moment I knew would come. To join the Brotherhood was to betray my family, everything I had stood for, everything my father had taught me. But I had made my choice, and I would see it through.
“You have it,” I said, my voice steady despite the turmoil within. “But first, I want to see my daughter. I need to know she is safe.” As I issued my demand, my heart pounded in my ears, drowning out the laughter that echoed through the room. The weight of my decision bore down on me, but I stood tall, my gaze fixed on the shadows where Kane lurked.
“You always were a stubborn one, boy,” Kane’s voice echoed. “But we’ll see how long that lasts. Bring her in.”