Page 39 of Dimitri
As sleep threatened to claim her, she became keenly aware of the silence pressing in from all sides. It was as if the world outside had faded, leaving only the two of them suspended in this fragile cocoon of tangled sheets and unspoken words. She replayed the night in her mind, searching for certainty and finding only more questions. Would she wake tomorrow and find the spell broken, or would the weight of what had happened settle more heavily on her heart?
*****
She woke again to the scent of coffee brewing and the space next to her on the bed empty. Rolling over, she laid there cocooned in the warmth he had left behind and the lingering scent of his cologne. Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried to put last night out of her mind. It was not happening. Pushing out of bed, she padded to the bathroom and took a quick shower.
She did not have to go in early this morning but had every intention of finding an excuse to get rid of him. Selecting a slim line ash gray pants at random, she dragged out a silk ruby red sweater. Boots, she decided. Her hair was a mess. Standing in front of the mirror, she used gel to smooth down the edges. Trying to get the thick coils to cooperate was a frustrating effort. In the end, she left them loose. Slapping on lipstick, sheconsidered herself ready. Telling herself it was not cowardice, she loitered inside the room before heading out.
He was standing with his back turned to the doorway and staring out the window. A cup of coffee was in one hand, and the other was in his pocket. One broad shoulder was propped against the sill, and he looked so solitary, she had to resist the urge to walk over and wrap her arms around his trim waist.
Clearing her throat to alert him to her presence, she crossed over to the coffee pot.
Turning from his contemplation of the scenery, he followed her movements with inscrutable dark eyes. He had woken in the early hours of the morning and just laid there staring at her and yearning to be in that position for the rest of his life.
"It's going to snow." He said it conversationally, giving no indication of the argument of last night.
Taking his cue, she popped in toast to go with the slices of ham and eggs on the counter.
"Looks like."
"Babushka is experimenting with some new bulbs this morning. I promised to help." He brushed by her to pour some more coffee.
"What type?" She had to stifle the need rising up. He had not greeted her with a kiss and for the first time since meeting him, he wasn't smiling or teasing her.
"Hybrid roses." He sipped coffee and continued to watch her. "You should wear a scarf."
She opened her mouth to tell him she didn't need a mother but decided against it. "I have one in the pocket of my jacket."
"Good. Make sure you wear gloves." Emptying the cup, he went to put it in the sink, before turning to her.
Her heart quickened in anticipation as she waited for him to touch her. And had to hide her disappointment when he simply dropped a kiss on her forehead.
"I'll see you later."
"Your breakfast..."
"I'm not hungry. Be sure to eat." With that, he strode from the room, leaving her staring after him.
She continued to stare at the empty doorway even after she heard the front door slam shut. He had just left without her demanding that he did. And what the hell was this hollow feeling in the pit of her stomach? She was the one who had wanted him gone, right? So why did she feel as if he had taken something vital with him?
A heavy silence settled over the kitchen, pressing in on her from all sides. She absently buttered her toast, trying to ignore the sting of unshed tears welling behind her eyes. The breakfast she had prepared now seemed unappetizing, the warmth draining from the room along with his presence.
He was probably pissed. Slapping the toast on the plate, she sat down and picked up her coffee cup. Well too bad. Maybe she had gotten through to him after all. That was what she wanted, wasn't it? He had assumed she would fall all over herself when he made his declaration. She had certainly set him straight.
Putting the cup down, she stared broodingly out the window and noticed absently the first flakes drifting against the windowpane.
Maybe he would not come around again. Ignoring the sharp twist of her heart, she picked up the cup and forced the liquidpast the lump that had suddenly developed inside her throat. If he stayed away, it would be for the best. There was no future for them and the sooner he accepted that, the better it would be for them.
Pushing to her feet, she dumped the rest of the coffee into the sink. The meal was untouched. Her appetite had gone from healthy to zero in a few short minutes. With tears burning the back of her eyes, she left everything on the counter and went to get her coat.
Chapter 11
He knew what he was doing. This was what he kept telling himself as he drove along the winding road that led to some of the cottages on the property. He had called his grandmother to let her know he would be a little late. He had to get himself under control before going home.
He had bared his heart and soul and got nothing in return. This was new to him. This crushing feeling of disappointment and resentment. He had never been in love before. A grown man of forty-two feeling as if his heart had been broken in two.
He should have waited. Declaring his love to her had been too hasty. He should have played it cool. Now he could not unsay the words. It was out there, lingering between them.
Parking the jeep beneath a denuded oak, he shut off the engine and stared broodingly out at the bleary landscape. He wanted to marry her. That had been on the tip of his tongue to say to her. He wanted marriage and children. The idea of seeing her swollen with his child did something to him.
