Page 25 of Earl of Excess
God, she hoped they would not need them. She wanted so much for this trip to move quickly and without incident. She went over what she knew in her head over and over. Smoot was probably still tied up with Tobias. He had given his word—even if he had not, she knew he wanted her safe. She hated the jealousy that had sparked from him toward Matthew, but there was nothing for it.
The last thing Bethany ever wanted was to hurt him. He was dear to her, even if he could find her last nerve and jump on it! With those two unlikely, who could be following them? Her imagination was going wild.Stop it,she willed.It’s probably someone like us, hoping to get started early on a trip. In her heart, though, she knew better. Someone was out there, and this did not bode well.
“Matthew, do you feel like you can paddle?”
“I can. I will be glad to do that. And I think I can balance my strokes easily with yours. I never told you, but my friends and I used to row in school. It will feel good to do it again.”
“Perfect!” she said, pausing to hand him the extra paddle. You paddle on the right, and I will paddle on the left. I think we can do this. The canal runs straight for a while, so there are no bends to navigate.”
“I could be mistaken, but it seems like it’s starting to get lighter out,” he said softly.
“It is. We got at least an hour on sunrise with our early start, but the moon is starting to fade.”
“I’ve been enjoying the sounds of the wildlife. I have never noticed that they seem to answer each other—the frogs and the crickets,” he supposed.
“I had never noticed that. But you are right,” she answered, her voice lighter. It was good to have him helping her and the two of them talking some. It took her mind off her fear. Grandmère always told her that fear should be respected. It was your mind keeping you aware and safe. She fully believed that. It was what allowed her to live on her own when Grandmère left. That had not happened often.
But when her father left home, and her Papa was gone, it meant she and Grandmère only had each other. With Aunt Theodosia blind, Grandmère felt obligated to check on her sister frequently, so Bethany had become more and more used to maintaining things while her grandmother was away.
“We haven’t discussed much regarding the battle, but my troops came in through these canals. The men constructed redoubts along the way. I can’t help but wonder if we shall run into any of those. Should we run into the British, I believe I can help.”
“I will be happy to let you,” she said. Why did her stomach just knot up at his words? It would make things easier for both if they ran into the British. He would have a ship to take him home. She would no longer have a British soldier in her care and would no longer have to worry about being arrested for helping a very injured man.I care about him. Her thoughts drifted back to his words last evening.
You could come with me.
The offer sounded as fresh in her mind as when he said them. She opened her mouth to say something but closed it.
“I know we should not talk too much on the water, and all, but there is something that I would like, no need, to explain,” Matthew said, interrupting the silence.
“If we keep our voices low, I suppose talking is fine. I enjoy conversations with you,” she responded, feeling a sudden lump in her throat. He was going to tell her he did not mean what he had said last evening. She had expected this. He was a member of British nobility, and she was... a Creole woman from the land that his country was fighting.
“I offered that you could come with me last evening.” His voice was low, but steady.
“And then you got up and went to bed. I understood. We got caught up in our... friendship,” she said, suddenly finding herself holding back tears. Dandie nudged her side and she looked down into the concerned face of her very perceptive dog. Impulsively, she leaned down and kissed Dandie’s head, needing that affection.
“I was not caught up in our friendship,” he bit out softly. His tone was clipped. “What we have between us is special. I have never experienced it with another woman. I find myself wanting to be in your presence,” he explained. “I have never felt that way. I went to bed because I cannot see, metaphorically of course,” he gave a light, sarcastic laugh, “how I will even get home, much less bring someone with me.”
“You feel like you will never see your home? I cling to the hope that your sight is returning,” she said, hopefully.
“You are an optimist. I thought I used to be one, as well. And truthfully, I have not been miserable. Being here with you has been better than I would have ever imagined, considering how it unfolded.”
“I appreciate your situation, Matthew,” she whispered. “I only want what is best for you.” She considered her next words carefully. “I have no expectations. Perhaps we should continue this conversation when we can be assured of our privacy.”
The sun had begun to creep over the dark clouds. She saw him slump at her words and felt miserable. There was so much she wanted to ask, to hear. She craved his soft kisses, although she knew that by going to her aunt’s home, there would be little opportunity for that to happen. It was just as well.
Surely Aunt Theodosia would know what was going on with Matthew. She prayed it would be so.
A noise behind them drew her attention and she lifted her paddle from the water. The fog was lifting, and visibility was improving. Turning, she could see the stream of water for miles, but there was no sign of a boat. She let out a long breath of relief, only now realizing how tense she had been.
Dandie had curled at her feet and was snoozing away. She trusted Dandie’s instincts. If there had been someone, the little dog would have nudged her or worse, barked.
“I can feel the sun stronger. The shapes are lighter. It seems a little better than yesterday,” Matthew offered quietly.
“That’s wonderful news,” she said, her heart gladdened. She needed to cast her selfish desires aside. He needed to get home to his family and friends, she thought, feeling buoyed not to see anyone behind them. “Tell me about the rowing you and your friends did in school.”
“You would like to hear my tales?” he sniggered. “It was a boys’ school, Eton. And we were quite the trio, having become fast friends as soon as we arrived.”
“How old were you when you left for school?” She had heard that the rich people in Europe went to fancy boarding schools—boys and girls, each to learn different studies. Her grandparents had made sure she learned math, her native language, English, and the history of her people. Of course, she had learned to read and write. Grandmère felt an education for her granddaughter was most important, especially considering the dangers that ignorance would have.
