Page 10 of My Lord, My Rogue
She glanced away for a moment and then back at Lancaster. “Yes, I had heard. I am truly happy for you both. I mean it from my heart. Evie loved you. I knew it even then, yet I allowed you to court me when her heart was already . . . engaged,” she finished, fighting a red plume of color heating her face and neck. “I betrayed my best friend. I hope you can both forgive me.”
“She will want to see you,” Lancaster said. He paused and appeared to observe her. “I am a fortunate man, Honora. I cannot say that I understand what caused you to . . . stray.” His voice grew raspy, and he seemed to force his words. “I forgive you, Honora.”
“My condolensces on the death of your father, Adam. The duke was a good man. I know his death must have been devastating for you and your mother,” she said, gazing up at Adam with glistening eyes.
“I appreciate that, Honora. It was a difficult time,” Lancaster replied.
Benjamin felt like an intruder. He should be anywhere but standing here with the two of them. Yet, he remained rooted to the spot, unable to move, heartened by Honora’s courage and honesty. “Perhaps we should continue this conversation somewhere else,” he offered, suddenly concerned for the propriety of the situation. “Are your parents visiting Bath for the holiday season?”
“They only just arrived,” she said, brushing tears away. “Please do not hold my actions against anyone but me. Those that aided me did so because they cared. I take full responsibility for my actions.”
Lancaster nodded and remained quiet a moment before finally speaking. “I have often imagined what I would say to you, and the pain seemed too great to bridge. Part of me still wants to hate you for what you did. However, time is a great healer, and I hope we can both close this chapter of hurt.” He paused. “Would it be possible to meet him . . . your baby? I dare not go home without details for Evie.”
Her face relaxed, and she seemed relieved. “Yes, Evie will have many questions. It was one thing I loved most about her. She considered nothing without questioning everything. It made for many wonderful and challenging discussions.” Honora gave a light laugh. “I would like that. Both of you, please visit. ’Tis time. Perhaps you could come for tea tomorrow?”
Benjamin glanced at Lancaster, who nodded. “What time?”
“Eleven of the clock,” she said before looking up at the two of them and smiling. “I should be off. Papa will look for me. And, I shall have to prepare my parents.”
“We shall be there on the morrow, Honora . . . Lady Aster,” the duke said, giving a curt bow before mounting his horse.
That went much better than I would have ever imagined, Benjamin thought, signaling her groomsman that he would help her mount.
“Allow me,” he offered. Lacing his hands together, he helped her back into the saddle. She touched his shoulder briefly as she settled herself into the stirrup, sending pulsing waves of desire coursing through him.She is truly lovely. But she was Lancaster’s, not mine,he chastised himself.That was years ago,he reminded himself.
Wordlessly, he stood there for a minute as she and her groomsman rode toward Brook Hall.Lancaster is my best friend. I cannot find her attractive.Mounting his own steed, he moved alongside his friend.
“I should have helped her back onto her horse,” Lancaster spoke carefully. “Of all the people I might have seen, she was the last person I ever expected.”
“And you have forgiven her.” Benjamin repeated his friend’s words. “That was magnanimous of you, considering all you suffered. However, it seems obvious she has suffered as well.”
They moved their horses into a canter, slow enough that they could maintain their conversation without raised voices.
“Do you think Evie really would want to see her?” Benjamin asked.
“Evie is a generous woman. She still thinks about her friend. Just a month past, she remembered it had been Honora’s birthday and said she sent a silent prayer up for her friend. Her charity never ceases to amaze me. Although I fear Evie felt the loss of Honora much like that of a sister. To find her alive . . .” Lancaster hesitated. “I cannot imagine how she might feel.”
“I wanted to remain angry with her for what she did, but found I could only feel sorry for her,” Benjamin stated.
“Me too. Aster was abusive. I would have asked more about it yet found I could not. It made me angry all over again. And it was apparent that she has suffered much,” Lancaster reflected, turning to his friend. “Do you feel you can put up with me for one more night?” he asked.
“Of course! It will give us time to digest all that has just occurred and enjoy one another’s company.”
“I should send word to Her Grace that I will be one day behind schedule,” Lancaster said. “I do not wish her to worry. We should take care of that when we get back to Willow Manor.”
* * *
Sadness and guiltstabbed at her heart as she rode off toward Brook Hall. It seemed she had spread pain to everyone that cared about her. She had dishonored her family and hurt a man whose only crime was asking her to be his wife. Seeing the pain on Adam’s face and knowing she was responsible had almost been too much to bear. She had flirted with Adam, hoping to gain Willington’s interest. Wellington had called him to fight and he asked her to marry him. She had accepted, knowing her best friend, Evie, had quietly loved him for years—Evie and Adam had grown up together. Strangely, Evie never said a word when the betrothal had been announced, and was only supportive, wishing them happy.
Today had been a surprise reckoning for her shocking duplicity. Tears welled in her eyes at the thought of what she did to Evie. Adam seemed to think Evie would want to hear from her. Hope glimmered in her heart. She needed to think of him as His Grace, and not Adam. She had no right to that level of familiarity, yet she had asked. And he had not denied her. Perhaps he truly could forgive her. There seemed so much to forgive.
Honora had known that she did not love him when he had asked her to marry him, despite having told him otherwise. Yet she had accepted. She could not punish herself more than she already had done these last three years.If I ever have another chance, I will choose love.
She had barely stepped through the back entrance to the house when she was met by Oliver and her aunt.
“Aunt Violet, Oliver!” she said as the door closed behind her.
“Mummy!” her toddler grabbed her legs and pushed his face into her skirt. It was wonderful to have him to come home to. Her son had taught her much about life, love, and faith. He had become her entire life, now. She would never regret the decisions she made to protect him. Riggs, his little four-legged shadow, came bounding behind him and jumped up on Oliver, licking him behind the ears and nearly toppling him over. The puppy was perfect for her boy. The two had already bonded in the short time they had known each other. Papa always had a knack for picking out the right gifts, she reflected.
