Page 71 of Tart
I leaned in nose-to-nose and kissed her lips. “It won’t, you’re right. It might even repair some of the holes, and over time you’ll be able to float longer without help.”
“I think you might be right, teacher. It’s just hard because our relationship is new, and I don’t want to scare you away. I’m usually not this big of a disaster.”
I smiled, my lips finding hers again to tangle with them longer. “Oh, it’s hard,” I agreed on a moan when I ended the kiss. “And you aren’t a disaster. We all struggle, tart. You never asked why I moved to a new job in the middle of the year, did you? You just assumed I chose to find a new job.”
She tipped her head at the thought and then nodded. “I guess I did, yeah. Come to think of it that is an odd time to change jobs.”
“I had been out of work since the summer before when my old school district didn’t renew my contract.”
“Why did they do that?” she asked curiously. “Budget cuts?”
I shook my head but refused to look away from her beautiful face. “No, the district was fine. It was me who needed help. I was sinking into depression, and it was starting to affect my work. I called in all the time, and when I was there, I was irritable or lethargic, I didn’t take direction well from my supervisors, and I argued about every little thing.”
“Seriously?” she asked, holding my hand. “I haven’t known you that long, but I know for sure that’s not you.”
I winked and kissed her knuckles, the sweet smell of her hand lotion tantalizing to my senses. “It’s not, that’s for sure. I’m usually the complete opposite of the person I was back then. Something was wrong. I knew it, and everyone around me knew it.”
“What did you do?”
“I sold my house and moved back to Illinois, where Athena and Sam live. It was Sam and Ken who helped me see what was happening.”
“Sam and Ken? That sounds awkward to me.”
“We’re friends, so it wasn’t. Ken dragged me to the gym every day and made me work out with him. Sam made me eat dinner with them every night and talk. After about two weeks of being there, I started to feel like my normal self again. I was laughing with Athena at the pool, jogging around the neighborhood while she rode her bike, and helping her plan the decorations for her dorm room. The feelings only came back when we talked about her going off to school.”
“Ahhh,” she said, nodding her head in understanding. “Empty nest syndrome.”
I made the so-so hand. “In a way. She didn’t live with me for long periods, so that wasn’t going to make much of a difference in my day-to-day life. It was more like empty life syndrome. Athena was my purpose. She was the reason I went to work every day for the last eighteen years. I had to take care of her and make sure I sent Sam money every month to do that. Suddenly, Sam and Ken didn’t need me anymore. Athena wasn’t going to need me anymore.” She held up her finger, and I grasped it. “I know I was wrong. I know they still need me, just in a different way. I had to spend the summer grappling with what I was going to do when my main focus wasn’t on making sure that little girl I loved so much grew into a decent human being. I’d done that. We’d done that. It does take a village to raise a child. It was Ken who sat me down and told me it was time to stop sacrificing my happiness because of guilt. I was too afraid to live because I didn’t want to make the same mistake I made with Sam. It was a hammer to the head, but he was right. That’s exactly what I was doing. I was using guilt to keep people at bay for so long I didn’t know how to face the loneliness I was feeling about being less needed by the only family I had left.”
“But you aren’t any less needed, Bishop. She still needs her daddy. I think us being in a hotel by the airport is proof of that. That’s never going to change until the day you die.”
I smiled, her beautiful eager face filling my heart with so much joy. “I know that now. Last summer changed everything I believed about myself and my life. It set me on a new course of finding happiness for myself, personally and professionally. To be honest, I hadn’t been happy for at least a couple of years at my old job. The administration wasn’t great, and the physical education curriculum was stale. I needed a change. I worked for Domino’s delivering pizza while I looked for the right position. Sam was gracious enough to carry Athena on her insurance during that time, even though the court mandated that I do it.”
“But knowing you, you made sure you covered the extra in the premiums for her.”
I laughed and nodded, giving her the palms out. “I did, but it was only for a few months. I started teaching in Lake Pendle right after Christmas. I felt like I was back on firm footing again, which was a relief. I’m still glad it happened. It set me on a new path that I needed to find, but couldn’t when I was afraid to give up the stability I had.”
“I’m glad you found your way to Lake Pendle, Bishop Halla,” she whispered. “So very glad.”
“Your face smiling back at me is the reason I did. You’re the reason I went through all of that because if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be sitting here tonight. When I say you’re mine, what I mean is, I’m yours for as long as you’ll have me. It’s not to be possessive or creepy. It’s because I know what it’s like to be alone and scared. To feel like you don’t mean anything to the people you should mean the most to in this world. When you’re with me, you’re the most important person to me. No one takes precedence over your safety or happiness. Do you understand?”
She stroked my face, her hand warm on my cheek. “That’s not true, Bishop. There is one person who is more important than me. Athena is, and I would expect nothing less. If she calls and needs you, I’d help you pack to get to her, just like today. If she calls and needs money, I’ll go to the bank to transfer it. I am always going to be second place to her—”
My head was shaking before she finished. “No.”
“Yes,” she said softly, her smile gentle. “I wouldn’t accept it any other way, Bishop. If we’re going to make this marriage last, then we have to agree on that. I don’t care if she’s eighteen or thirty-eight. If she needs you, you will go to her, no matter what. Doyouunderstandme?” she asked, emphasizing the words to make her point.
“Yes, Mrs. Halla,” I whispered, kissing her again, my tongue warring with hers to taste her strength and adamance for myself.
“Mmm,” she moaned against my lips. “Speaking of being a bride, I got your wedding gift. You should open it.”
“Oh, really, Mrs. Halla?” I asked, raising a brow. “It will have to wait now until we get home. I am madly curious, though.”
She pointed at the box in the corner. “You don’t have to wait. I brought it with us.”
I stared at the giant box and tipped my head. “I wondered what that was when I brought it in. I thought it was something you needed for the bakery.”
She grinned and motioned for me to open it. I slid the box over by the bed and ripped the tape off the top, letting the flaps fall open. I stared into the box with curiosity. “What is it?” I asked, lifting it out.
