Page 33 of Due North
“I’d wink, but I can’t do that either,” I said, laughing softly. “At least I can talk again. That’s an improvement, right?”
“From what I saw when they were loading you in that ambulance, it’s a huge improvement. You scared the crap out of us, Caleb. What in the hell were you thinking not telling us about this?”
I closed my eyes again and didn’t answer. I couldn’t answer. If I answered, then I had to reveal parts of myself I’d buried so deeply they’d never see the light of day again. It would be painful to dig them out and lay them out for everyone to see. “What time is it?” I finally asked, opening my eyes to search for the clock.
“Almost midnight. I promised Ash and Blaze I’d stay here with you for the night. They didn’t want to leave you here alone, but they had to head back to the ranch and get chores done.”
“The baby!” I said, my heart thudding. “She needs you there!”
She held her hand out to me to calm me down. “Just stay calm. Poppy is fine.”
“I have to get out of here in the morning,” I said emphatically. “That place won’t run itself.”
Cece’s laughter would have been infectious if I hadn’t been deadly serious. “When the doctors do release you from here, you won’t be running that ranch for a few weeks. The doctors told Blaze and Ash that the medications would need time to work again before you would gain your strength back. He also said if you don’t take the time to rest, you will never get this flare under control.”
I rocked my head back and forth on the pillows. “Is that what they’re calling this now? A flare?”
“The doctor said you were damn close to a crisis, and if those guys hadn’t shown up in the barn when they did, you’d be dead. Crisis or flare, I don’t know what they mean, but I know it’s not good either way. The doctor couldn’t tell us what was going on because he didn’t have permission from you to do so.”
I heaved out a sigh of relief and nodded once. “Excellent. Once I’m out, then I can do whatever I want.”
“Wrong,” she said with such immediacy I wanted to laugh. “All four of us heard the part about you not being able to work for a few weeks. I can promise you that you’ll be taking it easy once you’re out of here.”
“I can’t believe this is happening now of all times.”
“Better now than in April or May when the dude ranch is busy with guests. We’re in the quiet time of year. Let your body rest, Caleb.”
My gaze drifted to the side of the bed and I noticed Poppy sleeping up against the side rail, tucked in safely with a pillow. “Oh God, my baby’s here,” I cried, wanting to reach for her. “That explains why …” I stopped midsentence, and Cece looked at me as if she knew I meant why she wasn’t worried. That wasn’t what I meant at all. Poppy being here was the reason I could form sentences at all.
“You don’t mind that she’s sleeping there, do you? She was exhausted, but she won’t stay with Amity all night alone.”
I held Cece’s hand in mine and squeezed it. “I don’t mind at all. I’m glad you didn’t leave her. She’d be frightened and not understand what was going on. She’s not hurting anything there.”
She smiled at her niece and lovingly adjusted the blanket. “The nurses keep coming in to check on her as often as they’re checking on you.”
I chuckled and gazed down at the little girl with her thumb in her mouth and her fingers wrapped around her pink blanket. “She has that way with people. Whenever I see her, she’s a bright light that dims out everything else around her. That’s what she does for me anyway,” I said, shrugging my shoulder.
Cece held it down with her perfectly tiny hand. “Caleb, please. Tell me what’s going on here. You told Ash and the boys that you have a disease, but it was in remission. Just tell me, is it cancer?”
“No,” I said instantly to try and remove the look of fear on her face. “No, it’s not cancer. I’m not going to die.”
Unfortunately.
Right now, I wanted nothing more than to be swallowed up by this bed and transported to a different dimension where I didn’t have to stare her down and explain my weaknesses. I always wanted to be strong for Cece.
Poppy shifted and sat up, startled. Her face bunched up to wail, and Cece scooped her up and held her close, bouncing and swaying her gently, but she just cried harder.
“I think she needs something to drink,” Cece said, trying to hush her and get milk out of the zippered cooler bag at the same time.
“Give her to me,” I said, motioning for her, but Cece shook her head.
“No, I don’t want her to hurt you.”
“Cece,” I said, my eyes rolling before I could stop them. “I didn’t have surgery. I’m fine, give her to me.”
Frustrated, she handed me the little girl while she busied herself trying to get the cup out of the bag so Poppy would stop disturbing the rest of the patients. I tucked her into my side and stroked her hair a few times until her cries settled into hiccups.
“Ba,” she said in her sleepy voice.
