Page 48 of Due North
He fell over onto his hip and took a breath of air. “I’m not one hundred percent yet.”
I wrapped my arms around him and held him to my bare chest. “We have time to wait, Caleb,” I promised, rubbing his back. He felt warm and strong against my skin. “Even when you feel weak, you’re my rock, Caleb. I don’t want you to have a setback.”
“No,” he said without pause. “Making love to you will not cause a setback. What it will do is make me less worried about losing you. It will give me more confidence to be the man I know you need. I will make love to you tonight. We just have to be smart about it. Where was I?” he asked, his hand snaking to my zipper, and I lifted my hips, waiting while he tugged my pants off at the ankles. My bikinis were gone next, and then so was his breath. “Cece,” he hissed, the word an expulsion of air more than language. “You are glorious. You are the pink light,” he whispered before he pushed my legs apart gently and lay between them, his thumbs exploring my thighs slowly until they reached the center of me. His sharp intake of breath at the wetness waiting for him filled the room just as his tongue filled me.
“Caleb,” I sighed, gripping the blanket in my fists when his tongue swiped the length of me once. “Caleb!” I exclaimed again, grabbing for his hair and burying my hands there. My mind went off somewhere into oblivion as he kissed, licked, and sucked. There was nothing but bright white light behind my eyes and the warmth of his tongue on my very center.
“Cece, open your eyes,” he said, sliding two fingers inside me at the command. My eyes came open to stare into his. He thrust his fingers upward gently, and I moaned, noting he wasn’t wearing clothes anymore and his desire for me was no longer contained.
I didn’t speak. I just wrapped my hand around him, and his eyes went wide while his fingers stilled inside me. He was velvet and steel in my palm, but it was his moan that spurred me to push him to his back and dip my head to taste his tip.
“Cece!” he exclaimed, his self-control tested as he forced himself not to thrust upward.
I ran my finger down his chest while I took a longer, more extensive taste of him. “Yes, Caleb?” I finally asked, lifting my head while wearing a naughty grin and nothing else.
“This is a side of you I’ve never seen before,” he said, a brow in the air, and I shrugged coyly as I reached behind him for one of those silver packets. “Well, do you like it?”
“Oh, so very much,” he said on a strangled cry when I covered him with the latex and held myself over him.
“Good, because you’re going to be seeing a lot of this side of me,” I promised, then lowered myself over him until I could go no further. A tight rock of my pelvis had him moaning into the room with his hands wrapped around my waist.
“Don’t go too fast,” he begged, holding me still against him. “I never want this to end.”
I leaned down and kissed him, the angle changing enough for me to take him deeper. His hitched breath told me he felt it too. “It’s never going to end,” I whispered with my lips against his.
“Do you see that?” he asked on a sigh, his hips bucking against mine. “I’ve waited for your light forever.”
“What color am I, Caleb?” I asked, sitting up and shifting myself backward until his hips stilled in the air.
“The color of salvation,” he cried before he slipped over the edge, and we both held onto each other in a freefall of love.
Fifteen
The last few weeks had been life-changing. Cece insisted that we keep our budding romance a secret from everyone else for now, which meant I never got to hold her all night long the way I wanted. I was willing to take things as slowly as she needed me to if it meant she felt secure about her place in my life. I still wanted to shout how much I loved her from the rooftops. I still worried that I was dreaming every time we were together. She was the whole package, and the fact that she chose me to love her was humbling and confusing. She could catch the eye of any man, but she picked me. I was forever grateful to the universe for putting her in my life.
Since the guests had returned to the ranch, she was working more than ever now. That meant I got to spend a lot of time with Poppy, which kept me going when we couldn’t be together like a … family. I nearly stumbled on the path at the thought. Having a family of my own again was all I ever wanted. Now that it was within reach, the old fears filled my heart and mind. What if something happened and I couldn’t save them. What if Cece and Poppy were the next victims of my life?
No. Stop, Caleb. You can’t do this to yourself. You’ve come too far to go back down that road.
I stood up a hair straighter and patted Dolly’s head. “My inner self is right,” I told the horse as we walked toward the riding ring. “I can’t let that kind of thinking derail what I’ve worked so hard for.”
She nuzzled me with her snout as though she wondered why I wasn’t riding her. “You’ll see soon enough, girl.”
The first snow of the year had fallen, and for the first time, I didn’t mind. I suppose that was because I was in my cabin or the barn more than I was out in the elements now. Poppy and I spent a lot of time in the barn with Dolly. Nothing settled Poppy down faster than a chance to brush the filly, who basked in the attention of the little girl. I was nothing more than a dirty shirt to this horse if Poppy was around. Secretly, I loved the relationship they had. When Poppy was having a hard day, I took her to the barn, and she’d find her light again.
The time away from the physical labor was helping my body more than I expected and much faster than the doctors predicted. They were pleased with my recovery and suggested that I keep doing what I was doing. I had to try not to smirk. It was more like who I was doing. Cece was a beautiful woman, and she let me be me no matter how I was feeling. The way she loved me was without reservation and with her whole self. That first night on the floor with her warm, tight body wrapped around me, it was more than sex. It was our souls connecting for the first time in a way not even death could break. There would be pain, and there would be arguments, she’s a redhead with a temper after all, but dammit, there was so much love that I didn’t even care. I longed for the minor disagreements in life because the making up would be nothing but sweet agreement.
I approached the riding ring and took a deep breath. What I was about to do could change my whole reason for being on this ranch. I took a moment to stand and stare at the building, letting that idea wash over me and remind me that what I see between Poppy and Dolly is my new way forward on this land.
I pushed the gate open and walked Dolly through and to the ring. I was expecting to meet Tobi here, and she was waiting when I walked Dolly through the door.
“Hey, Caleb,” she said, tossing aside a rope and brushing off her hands. “And hello, Dolly,” she said with a chuckle. Tobi rubbed the filly’s nose and loved her up. “I noticed that Poppy has a fondness for Dolly.”
“And vice versa,” I agreed. “That’s why I wanted to meet you here today. I was hoping you’d ride Dolly.”
“I’ve ridden her plenty of times.”
I nodded, swallowing nervously. “I know, but I was hoping you’d do it without your braces on.”
