Page 25 of Jam and Jingle Bells
“By the time I was old enough to understand the situation, she knew me well enough to know I would look for him. She doesn’t want anything to do with him and if I knew his name, I’d find him. It would probably take me less than an hour online to track him down.”
He bit his lower lip and stared at his hand holding my knee. He looked up, then back down, and then up again. “Okay, but he’s your father and you kind of have a right to know.”
I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. “I don’t disagree with you. She thinks she’s protecting me by keeping his identity a secret.”
“No, she’s not,” he said softly, but with a sharp edge to his tone. “She’s protecting herself while robbing you of a relationship you might benefit from. She’s being selfish because she doesn’t want to deal with all the feelings and baggage having him come back into your lives would bring. She’s being a coward by assuming he has nothing to offer you because he walked away.” One eye opened and I pinned it on him. He sighed and held up his hand. “I’m sorry. There I go judging again.”
I rolled my head back and forth on the couch. “No, you’re making an observation. One that is spot on. I often ponder the same things. I want to find him, but mostly for the sole reason I could have half-siblings out there somewhere. I could have a whole family out there, and while he may not want me to be part of it, at the very least I would have a better understanding of who I am. I could maybe get some basic medical information about my family genetics and common diseases on his side of the family. Right now, I’m blind when it comes to all of that. I don’t think it’s fair, but she won’t budge. I’ve tried.”
He shook his head and bit his bottom lip. “You’re an adult now, Addie. I can’t tell you what to do, but if you feel strongly about this, maybe you need to talk to her again. Explain the reasons why you want to find him and talk it through with her. Maybe you can come to some mutual agreements about how far you’re willing to allow him into your life and where you draw the line.”
I stood and walked to the window, looking out over the streets of Bells Pass. “I’ve been considering it a lot lately. I feel lonely a lot of the time and knowing I have another family out there somewhere might be comforting.” I shrugged with a sigh and focused my eyes on the streetlight on the corner. “The snow is really coming down. I think we may have our first real snowfall of the season.”
He came up behind me and peered over my shoulder. “You’re right, this snow may stick around now. It’s almost December and it has certainly been cold enough.”
I chuckled as I leaned into his chest. “Part of me is thrilled to watch the snow come down and know the Christmas tree in the park is going to be magical, but the rest of me is thinking about how I will feel at the end of February.”
He rubbed my arms languidly up and down, sending chills through me at his touch. I wanted to turn my head and let him lay his lips on mine, but I didn’t. I knew it was a bad idea, even if I was already addicted to the way his lips felt on mine. “The dilemma every Midwesterner faces in the winter. Hey, I have an idea. Are you game or are you too tired?”
I turned from the window into his chest and rested my hands there. I loved how his muscles rippled at my touch every single time as though he was as affected by me as I was by him. “I’m game. What do you have in mind?”
He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine gently, but didn’t linger, unfortunately. I suddenly had a thing for his lips. “It’s a surprise.”
Chapter Seven
He helped me down from the truck and then snapped his collar up around his ears. With the snow still falling, he grinned and grabbed my hand, excitement twinkling in his eyes.
“I can’t believe you suggested the park,” I said, kicking at the snow and watching it puff into the night air.
He squeezed me against his side and turned his lips into my ear. “Well, I am new here and I’ve never seen the tree all decked out with Mother Nature’s flocking.”
“Mmm,” I hummed without control of my own throat. “You’re right. You won’t be disappointed.”
“Trust me, I’m not disappointed.”
“You haven’t seen the tree yet,” I said breathlessly.
“First, I’d have to tear my eyes off of you.” We turned the corner to the gazebo and the tree loomed large and bold in front of us. The colors were slightly muted by the snow that had covered the branches and the edges of the bell replica that sat at the top of the tree.
He tugged me up the stairs to the gazebo and we walked to the edge of the railing, looking up. “I’m definitely not disappointed,” he whispered, and my eyes lowered to his. He wasn’t looking at the tree because he was still focused on me.
“Ellis, first you’d have to look at the tree,” I said, my voice wispy.
“Oh, I did, but I prefer this view so much more.” Whatever look was on my face must have bothered him because his hands went into his hair and he puffed out his cheeks. “If I’m making you uncomfortable, I’m sorry. I forget that we just met. I feel like we’ve known each other forever.”
“Well, not forever, but we’ve known each other for over six months now. Doesn’t seem like that long, does it? Remember the canoe race during the centennial celebration in the park in August? I would say we got to know each other pretty well that day.”
He grinned and dropped his hand to his side. “We did have to fall into sync fast, I’ll give you that.”
I grasped the lapels of his coat and held them loosely. “We didn’t have to work very hard at being in sync. It just seems to happen without us even trying. I don’t understand it, and I’ve tried to fight it, but my brain doesn’t compute that whenever you’re around.”
“Same,” he whispered, nodding his head. “Every time we’re at a community event together, my eyes seek you out no matter where you are in the room. When we grab dinner at the diner or run into each other in town, my hands want to hold yours. It’s unnerving, electrifying, and I’m not quite sure what to do about it.”
“Same,” I agreed.
He took a step closer and grasped my shoulders with his sexy, leather-clad hands. “Though, my brain is telling me one thing I could do about it.”
“Oh yeah? What’s that?” I asked, watching his lips. His tongue darted out and licked them, leaving a dewy shine that made me whimper with anticipation.
