Page 50 of Jam and Jingle Bells
Santa pointed at her and did his signature wink. He looked up at me while Holly was thinking this over and threw me a wink as well. I grinned and winked back, letting him know I was fully aware of who he was.
Santa started patting down his chest and digging in his giant coat pockets. “I know I have a candy cane in here somewhere,” he muttered about as only Santa could. “Would you like a candy cane?” he asked, just as a jingle bell rolled from his pocket and down the path.
“I’ll get it, Santa,” Holly exclaimed and jumped down the stairs. She chased the wayward jingle bell down the path.
“That’s a pretty righteous jingle bell,” I said to Santa and he grinned, his eyes laughing.
“Here you go, Santa,” Holly said as she held the bell out at arm’s length. I suspected it was the closest she had ever gotten to the man in red before.
“Thanks, Holly, but you keep it. Mrs. Claus says I have so many jingle bells I can’t even keep track of them. I guess she’s right.” He laughed softly so as not to scare her and ho-ho-hoed.
Holly’s hand curled around the jingle bell and held it tightly. “Thank you, Santa. I’ll hang it on our Christmas tree.”
Santa, being smart about how apprehensive she was, stuck his hand out for her to shake. “I’d like that, Holly. Consider it your first gift from Santa.” Holly hesitated but finally gave his hand a firm shake. “Would you like to tell Santa what you’d like this Christmas? If you tell me what you’re wishing for then I can stop at your house. Maybe I’ll even see my bell again on your tree.”
Holly shook her head, taking a step around him and climbing up to the top step. “No thank you, Santa. There’s nothing I need for Christmas.”
Santa furrowed a brow. “Now Christmas isn’t a time for need, Holly. Christmas is a time for wishes.” He motioned at the tree by the gazebo. The late-day sun that shone down on it made the snow sparkle like magic.
Holly shrugged and shifted from foot to foot. Mel laid a hand on her shoulder to comfort her. “My wish isn’t something Santa can bring,” she finally said softly. “But thank you for offering.”
Santa laid a finger alongside his nose and a bell jingled on his coat sleeve. “Why don’t you risk it and tell me anyway?” he asked, quite seriously now. “Santa grants wishes, even if they aren’t simple wishes like a doll or a train. I’m really, really old you know. I have lots of answers in this noggin,” he assured her, tapping his temple.
Holly glanced up at her mom who shrugged likewhy not? It can’t hurt.Holly turned back to him, sitting down on the step, two steps away from him. She whispered something and Santa strained to hear, but he shook his head.
“I can’t hear you so far away. Maybe you could talk louder or come closer?” he said, staying hands-off.
Holly moved down a step and whispered her wish again. Santa leaned in, his ear turned toward her. When he still couldn’t hear her, she huffed with frustration and leaned down into his ear, her hand cupped around it, making it obvious she didn’t want us to hear her. When she leaned back, Santa’s eyes were filled with an emotion I couldn’t name.
He clasped his hands in front of him and stared at the girl for a long beat. “You were right, Holly. I’m sorry, but Santa can’t bring you happiness and he can’t make your sadness go away.”
Holly nodded with satisfaction, as though it was a test. Something told me she’d be testing the town of Bells Pass for years to come. She was smarter than all three of us combined. “That’s what I thought,” she said but there was a bit of disappointment in her words.
Santa leaned back on the step with his elbow and crossed his ankles where his big black boots were shined to a reflective glow. “Here’s what Santa can tell you,” he said and Holly leaned in, suddenly curious that maybe he had something for her after all. “You’re the only person who can make you happy. You have to remember that, but you also have to remember that sadness is important.”
Holly crossed her arms and huffed, rolling her eyes. “Not in my world.”
Santa smiled and winked at her, patting her foot, to which Holly didn’t freak out. “In everyone’s world, Holly. Sadness is actually very important to our happiness.”
“What?” she asked, her brow furrowed. “Santa, you’re talking nonsense now. You need a nap.”
Mel and I almost burst out in giggles, but we slapped our hands over our mouths and waited.
Santa yawned and took another drink of his hot cocoa. “You’re right, I am a little tired, but that nap will have to wait until I’m back at the North Pole. I’m not talking nonsense though. You see, when we feel sad that’s because our hearts are healing.”
Holly leaned forward on her thighs to eye him closely. “You mean sadness happens because our hearts are broken? Like our hearts can literally break apart inside our chest and then go back together?”
Santa did the so-so hand. “It feels like that sometimes, doesn’t it?” he asked to dodge the question and she nodded. “When we’re sad because of something that happened, our hearts are broken. Sometimes it only takes a few minutes to feel better, but sometimes it takes a long time for that sadness to fly away.”
“How come?” she asked, suddenly invested in the conversation.
“Well,” Santa said, sitting up again. “If we’re sad because a friend canceled a playdate or if our favorite show isn’t on TV, it doesn’t take very long to forget about it and do something else, right?” he asked and she nodded. “In those situations, our hearts weren’t broken, they were just disappointed.”
“Oh, so that’s not really being sad, that’s being disappointed,” she said, trying to understand.
Santa touched her nose with his gloved finger. “Bingo. But when our hearts are broken. Say when we have a big fight with someone we love or someone we love dies, then our hearts kind of …” He made the explosion motion with his hands.
“Explode,” she said softly and he nodded.
